Drown
by bluetinkerbell
Summary: [Complete-Endings Redone] Alcohol. It's been Kitsune's best friend since the beginning. But now, it's decided to turn on her.
1. Drowning in Booze

Disclaimer: Not mine  
  
Drown  
  
Once again Kitsune was lonely. Once again she was trying to block them out. Once again she was failing. And once again she was drowning herself with alcohol.  
  
They were all so happy. Naru, her best friend, had Keitaro the landlord. Motoko had her studies. Mutsumi had her watermelons, Su had her machinery, Kanako had her weird mask stuff, Shinobu had her studies and cooking, Tama- chan had whatever he had, and both Sarah and Haruka had him.  
  
Him. He was the reason for all her problems in the first place. If he hadn't tutored herself and Naru then Kitsune wouldn't be as she was. She could be happy like them. She wouldn't be hopelessly in love with him. You never know, she could love someone else. But she could love only him. 'I would've never fallen in love with anyone else.' Kitsune thought glumly.  
  
Maybe it was his thoughtlessness. Or his smile and charm. His fighting skill maybe? No. It was just him. He would never love the lowly Kitsune over the regal Haruka.  
  
'I could have admitted my feelings earlier.' Thought Kitsune drunkenly. 'I had my chance. Not any more. He's not mine anymore. Not that he ever was.'  
  
She shifted her amber liquid so that the noon sun glinted through its depths. Her brown eyes stared at the drink that made her life so much simpler, yet so much harder. Kitsune's bored expression turned into a frown as she waded through the muggy depths of her memory, trying to remember why she had started drinking. And once again the answer was him.  
  
After yet again glancing at the liquor, Kitsune lifted it to her parched lips and gulped it down. 'Aha.' Kitsune thought. She remembered how she started drinking.  
  
.~.  
  
Of course, she and Naru had just finished a tutoring session with him and they were both getting ready to leave. They thanked Se-oops; him, once again and left.  
  
It was a warm spring day with a few scattered clouds and a slight breeze. Both Naru and Kitsune were walking underneath a line of budding sakura trees. Soft, celestial budding pink sakura trees. Kitsune had her bag and arms behind her head and was looking to the branches of the trees. Naru had both hands on the bag in front of her, head down. She was blushing slightly. Kitsune noticed.  
  
"Hey Naru. What's got your cheeks turnings into cherries?" Naru scowled and huffed angrily.  
  
"Nothing Kitsune. Nothing at all."  
  
"Yeah sure. I believe you." Kitsune paused, giving Naru a bit of time to gather herself. "Well anyways, the trees are looking really pretty today, don't you think? Aren't they Seta's favorite?'" Naru's head had snapped up at the mention of his name. And of course, Kitsune noticed.  
  
"C'mon Naru. You know you can tell me." Naru snorted.  
  
"Sure Kitsune. Go on living in your fantasy world." Pause. "But really it's noth-"  
  
"What the heck are you talking about? Of course it's something! It's not everyday you react so."Kitsune trailed off, knowing her best friend too well. Naru would tell her.  
  
Naru sighed resignedly. "Fine I'll tell you what's wrong.or right. See! That's the problem! I don't know if it's wrong or right! I can't fig-"  
  
"I need to know the problem Naru." Silence.  
  
"I.I-I think I like Seta. Romantically."  
  
Kitsune's bag dropped to the ground along with her stomach. Her best friend Naru, liked the same person she did? The one person who took her seriously and didn't flake out on her? The one person Kitsune actually cared for liked the same person she did?  
  
"O-oh. That's-uh-great." Kitsune stammered.  
  
Naru's eyes widened. "You don't approve?" She whispered.  
  
It was Kitsune's turn to be startled. Of course she didn't approve! She liked Seta too! She should be the one to get him since Naru always got the others! It wasn't fair but then neither was life. Naru was too good of a friend to lose over a man. A man whom she'd probably never see again after he finished tutoring them. And so, Kitsune took one major step towards becoming the Kitsune we know today.  
  
"Of course I approve. What are you, crazy? Be happy and go after him. You deserve the best." Naru beamed happily. How could she not be happy? Now she could go after Seta and get that date she wanted. She was scared that Kitsune might have liked him. It sometimes seemed that way. Again she smiled. "Thanks Kitsune. You're a true friend."  
  
That night, Kitsune discovered alcohol and the joyous oblivion that it brought.  
  
.~.  
  
Kitsune sighed and twisted her body so that her back was on the tabletop. She could feel the numbing fingers of the alcohol begin to take their effect. Lazily she smiled. When had she found that she liked alcohol? At the beginning, she had been repulsed by it's vulgarity. But when did she change? 'It must be that psychological stuff.' She reasoned.  
  
The cognitive dissonance theory. That should be it. When her actions and attitudes clashed, she changed one. In this case, she thought alcohol was disgusting but drank it to forget him. And soon she changed her attitude so she loved alcohol and couldn't live without it.  
  
That was crazy on her part. Now she would protect the sake with her life. Kitsune giggled. Kitsune usually never giggled.unless drunk.  
  
Kitsune stood up quickly, again giggling about her dizziness. She stumbled to where she kept her stories and books. Stories written by her about various things. Books on dancing. And there you had her two passions in life. Writing and Dancing. She took her favorite dance book and flipped to various pages, her murky eyes taking in various dance moves.  
  
She tilted her head to the side and moved to turn her classical CD on. Classical Japanese was beautiful. At least that's what she thought. Kitsune got up and began to slowly sway to the music and execute graceful twirls, motions and previously choreographed moves. Ah.she was free.  
  
Kitsune collapsed to the floor taking in deep breathes of precious air. She was much too drunk to dance now. She could feel the burning bile rise up in her throat, waiting to be ejected. Kitsune stood up and ignoring the swimming surroundings, ran through the door she had just thrown open.  
  
She made to the bathroom where she let the bile rise and come out. Disgusting. She got up and washed her face. Slowly she made her way back to her room, her sanctuary, and her home.  
  
It wasn't the greatest feeling, being drunk. It caused the world to look light and a little crazy. And because of that, you thought that anything went. Kitsune could faintly remember when she told Keitaro about her love for Seta. She'd been drunk.  
  
The classical Japanese continued to play as Kitsune slid the door shut and made her way over to her futon. She unrolled it and laid down. She wasn't going to sleep.  
  
The sweet voice of the shamisen drifted through the air and met her ears. Kitsune sighed and closed her eyes. Everyone at the Hinata house loved the sound of the shamisen. However, Kitsune thought it was sad, depressed almost. It's tang's and ting's in slow procession reminded her of tears falling down cheeks, creating well-worn grooves.  
  
The sun now slanted across the floor, no longer hiding above the girl's dormitory. It should have been around two o'clock. Kitsune opened her eyes when she first felt the warmth of the sun kiss her fingertips.  
  
The hangover was looming over her head. Kitsune could just feel it. That was the worst part of getting drunk. The pain. You wanted to escape the pain and you did. But then it just comes back and smacks you in the face. Sort of like love.  
  
Love was there to help you escape pain and leave you happy. You were supposed to be happy when you were in love. It was like a law. Kitsune snorted. She wasn't happy but she was in love. She was in love with a fool, someone who could brighten her day with one glance, smile or word.  
  
And of course, her-no, sorry Haruka's poor fool was oblivious to her feelings therefore causing her unneeded grief at her age. That's what probably caused her to be one to give advice on relationships-her lack thereof and her experience. Men thought she was easy. A drink or two and she was in their bed. Pssh. Wishful thinking. Life wasn't that easy. And it wasn't fair. In fact if life was meant for anything, it was meant to love only one.  
  
Or die loving that one from afar. 'It's better to have love and won. But to have love and lost is better than having never loved at all.' Kitsune mind was finally succumbing to the hangover.  
  
Slowly, her mind began to dig up memories of the happy times with her friends. It was odd that it did that. Even she was perplexed. And she was the one controlling her mind. There was the time at Para-whatever it was. That was fun. Seeing Naru and Keitaro get so close was enjoyable. Of course then the poor Keitaro was blasted into oblivion-only to still be alive.  
  
The joyous thoughts continued to race through Kitsune's mind, only adding to the throbbing pain taking over her. But there was more to those memories than just smiling and remembering. A revelation dawned on Kitsune. Her life wasn't the best. And she would trade parts of it for others. But there were some delicate and minute parts of her life that she would never change.  
  
There were her friends who, though they had other things to keep them busy, were always there. Then there was her life-in general. She was doing a job she loved with no restrictions. And she was in love. Not many people could say that. At least not at her age. Kitsune was.well, happy. She was happy.  
  
'I'm happy.'  
  
~Fin  
  
Tell me what you think. Good or bad. Review please. 


	2. Drowning in Sorrow

Disclaimer: Not mine

Drown

The next morning, Kitsune awoke to a throbbing headache, scratchy throat, tired muscles and hungry stomach. She grunted as she got up noticing that this hangover wasn't as bad as the others she had had. Normally, Kitsune wouldn't have been able to move.

Kitsune stumbled out of her room, still dressed in her clothes from yesterday. She bumped into Motoko who seemed to be on her way to her usual morning training session. However on seeing Kitsune's dilapidated appearance, she sighed, slung an arm around Kitsune and heaved her into the kitchen. 

There she retrieved a glass of water for Kitsune. Firmly, Motoko placed it on the counter in front of Kitsune. 

"Drink." She ordered. Kitsune nodded and gulped the water down greedily.

Shinobu entered a few minutes later. When she saw both Motoko and Kitsune there, she went to the kitchen and prepared a cup of ginger tea for Kitsune. Shinobu gently placed the healing liquid in front of Kitsune.

Once again, Kitsune nodded her thanks. She drank it slowly so as not to burn her tongue. 

Soon everyone else had slowly filtered into the room. They all assessed the situation in their own ways. Some proclaimed it loudly, like Su, while others chose to be silent about it, like Naru. 

A scene like this was regular.

.~.

Kitsune made her way downstairs, jumping the last two. Her hangover was over and she was feeling as good as new. Seta was even supposed to visit today.

She couldn't help the Cheshire Cat-like smile that spread across her face at the thought of Seta. It was just natural. Softly, she began to hum a tune to herself. Kitsune stepped outdoors and tried to decide what to do today. 

Kitsune began to wander around. Unconsciously, she brought herself to her room. When she reached it, she realized where she had come. Even then, she continued on inside. There, she noticed her work lying on the table, forsaken. 

Suddenly, Kitsune changed in her demeanor. Her smile dropped and her back straightened. Her glowing eyes became serious. Her right hand itched to wrap its lithe fingers around the pen. Konno Kitsune, the resident party girl, had just become Konno Mitsune, the free-lance writer.

Kitsune seated herself down in front of her work and surveyed what needed to be accomplished. There was a tape recorder idly lying near her left hand. She had been writing a transcript on her interview with the famous artist, Uchida Kusaburo*. 

Kitsune quickly took up the tape recorder and began to write down whatever she heard.

.~.

It was three weeks later and Kitsune had just exited the headquarters of her occupation with a smile on her face. She had submitted her article and interview on Uchida Kusaburo and earned her pay. Kitsune had also lost around fifteen pounds in the last three weeks. How? She had no clue but she was happy nonetheless. 

Then there was the money that made her happy. Looking down into her hand, Kitsune wondered what to do with the yen residing there. 

Slowly, an idea formulated in her mind. Why not some real good booze to celebrate the event? It seemed like a good idea. After all, she had worked hard for this money and she hadn't had a drink in over a week! She'd been too tired. Why? She had no idea. But there was nothing like a few good drinks to help relieve that.

With that conviction set into her mind, Kitsune set off towards the nearest bar.

.~.

Kitsune stumbled up the stairs that led to the Hinata House. She continued to sing her off-key version of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". However, there was a problem. She was still exhausted. She never got that usual feeling of lightness or airiness. The feeling was heavier and.. . tired. 

Sliding against the wall, Kitsune felt her way to her room, in the process making a racket. Everyone came out of his or her rooms, bleary eyed. Shaking her head, Kitsune lifted a heavy hand to wave them away. A very heavy hand.

A worried Naru came over to her side, ignoring the hand waving. Gently, Naru guided Kitsune into her room where Shinobu was frantically lying out her futon. 

Together with Motoko, Naru redressed Kitsune into comfortable sleeping clothes and laid her down to rest.

.~.

'Noooo. . .' Kitsune groaned inwardly. The early morning light was striking her in the face. Lethargically, she tried to sit up. As she did this, she felt a sudden wave of nausea overtake her senses. Quickly, Kitsune's head shot to the side of her futon. There she emptied out her stomach.

Kitsune wiped her mouth and managed to lift herself to her feet. From there, she took unsteady, leaden footsteps into the downstairs quarters of the dormitory. 

There she found all the other girls and Keitaro seated at the table eating their breakfast. Kitsune shuffled towards the table but stopped. She had no appetite. . .for anything. 

"Kitsune! How are you feeling?" That was Naru.

"Like crap."

"Oh. . . well, why don't you have something to eat? It should make you feel better."

"I'm not hungry. In fact, I threw up everything upstairs near my futon. So I'll be sleeping on the couch."

"Kitsune," Kanako began "You've been sleeping for over twelve hours! I think you've had enough sleep."

Kitsune stared at Kanako. "What?" she managed in a feeble voice. "What time is it?"

"It's lunch time Kitsune."

Silence.

Kitsune stood for a few more moments before shaking her head and making her way towards the couch, mumbling something about getting piss-ass drunk.

The others watched with silent worry. Sarah was the first to speak.

"Is. . .is she all right? It's never been this bad? Has it?" Su, being serious for once, shook her head. "Nopey nope nope. Never this bad. And this_ very_ bad."

Everyone nodded in silent agreement.

.~.

"Go away!"

"Kitsune you've been sleeping for four hours! Get up! We're taking you to the doctors!" Kitsune cracked open an eyelid in annoyance. "Why?" she muttered.

"Because we're worried about you! Now get up! You still have to shower and get dressed!"

An hour later, Motoko, Naru, Shinobu and Kitsune were at Dr. Kaji's office in downtown Hinata. They were soon called in to meet with the doctor. There, she began interrogating Motoko, Naru and Shinobu on the fatigued Kitsune's condition.

"You say that she has been very. . . tired, lethargic today. Has she done any rigorous exercise lately?" There was a slight pause as the girls contemplated the question. Shinobu spoke up.

"Yesterday, she came drunk from a bar. We don't know how far away it was but that could be it."

"She was drunk?" The three nodded in unison. Kitsune groaned in the background.

"Is this the first time this has happened?"

"No." Naru answered. "She's been drinking ever since she was seventeen."

"And she's twenty-three now correct? A constant drinker? Alcoholic almost? I think I know what the problem might be." Dr. Kaji took a few quick steps towards Kitsune and placed her hands below Kitsune's breasts on the right side. There she slowly rotated her fingers.

She removed her fingers after circling twice. "I'll have to do a blood test." She pronounced. The doctor left the room. Shinobu anxiously looked at the others to see their reaction to this. Like her, they looked surprised. It was serious enough to warrant a blood test?

The doctor returned and quickly but cautiously performed the blood test. She left once again to send the sample away for testing. When she came back, she looked at the others gravely.

"I'm afraid it may be a very serious condition. Just give the blood tests around two days to come back and I'll let you know by calling, okay? Other than that, just let her rest and no alcohol whatsoever. Lots of fruits and vegetables. Just keep her healthy. No rich foods like cheesecake. Okay? That should be it. Let me know if any complications arise." Dr. Kaji ripped off the piece of paper she had been writing on and handed it to Motoko.

"Everything should be on there. Keep it handy. Well I'll call you in two days!"

With that, Naru, Motoko and Shinobu shouldered Kitsune out of there.

.~.

They reached the House relatively quickly. There everyone was informed of the situation. Everyone tried to help Kitsune with her exhaustion that day but nothing worked.

The lethargy began to abate a day or two later, giving Kitsune the energy to shuffle around and stay awake for more than three minutes.

It was on the third day since the appointment that Kitsune happened to be shuffling past the phone. The phone began to ring.(AN: of course)

Kitsune turned to look around for the others who could pick up the phone for her. No one was there. . . not even Tama-chan. With a sigh, Kitsune lifted here hand and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello." It was a female. "May I speak to Konno Mitsune? This is Dr. Kaji from the Downtown Hinata Hospital"

"Speaking." There was a slight pause.

"Ms. Konno, you do remember your visit to the doctor's, don't you?" Kitsune squinted as if trying to recollect the memory.

"Faintly. I think I was sleeping." 

"Hmm. . . Well, I administered a blood test on you because your liver was enlarged. I also needed to check for any other problems that may have been the cause of your fatigue and exhaustion. However, what I suspected had happened to you was the cause of your tiredness."

"What you suspected? What did you suspect?" There was a slight pause as Kitsune heard the doctor take a sigh.

"Ms. Konno, you have contracted liver cirrhosis. In some cases it is fatal." 

Kitsune squeaked. 'Fatal'? And she was diagnosed with it?

"Oh God. . ." she muttered. Kitsune felt a lump begin to form in her throat. She might die! "Thank you. . ." she managed. The doctor said a few more words and then hung up. But Kitsune didn't hear them.

Automatically she hung the phone back up. Then they began to fall. The crystalline tears of Konno Kitsune were sliding down her porcelain cheek.

She was going to die.

.~.

Thanks Mantis Man for giving me the inspiration to continue on with this story! Thank you so much! I wouldn't have continued without your support.

*Uchida Kusaburo is not mine. He belongs to Arthur Golden, author of the wonderful book Memoirs of a Geisha.

Thank you if you have been reading this. Not much ^.^ but my contribution to Fanfiction.net. I hope you do review…if anyone is reading this story at all….Well thank you!

I wonder if I'll get threatened with sporks because Kitsune might die? Anyways, if you have any suggestions whatsoever PLEASE give them to me! I need to know how to improve my writing!

Thanks!


	3. Drowning in Solace

Disclaimer: Not mine

Drown

Tick. 

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

The monotonous clicking of the clock was the only sound in the range of Kitsune's hearing. But she didn't hear it.

Konno Kitsune, indestructible resident drunk and advisor on relationships, was crying. Silently, of course. Why even bother when no one was around to lament with her? She was going to die. 

It was only a few weeks ago she had made the conclusion that her life was worth living. And now…now she was living to die.

Steps were approaching. Voices were growing in volume. Kitsune turned her head towards the door, contemplating what she could do. Either she could run up to her room and lock herself in until she was ready to face them, or she could give them the teary and dramatic.  Kitsune chose to run and hide.

Quickly, Kitsune shot up, slipping on the hardwood floor. The remnants of the exhaustion were still there. She balanced herself with her hand then took off. 

The others wouldn't be seeing her today.

.~.

Kitsune reached her room and shut the door behind her. It was soon locked.

Kitsune made her way over to her messy futon. She gently lay down, drowning in her sorrow.

She couldn't be dying. It had to be a hoax, right? 

Frantically, Kitsune searched her emotion worn mind fro something to blame. She conveniently found it.

Liquor.

Alcohol.

Booze.

It was the alcohol that poisoned her! The one substance meant to give her pleasure during pain now caused her pain in her pleasure.

Kitsune turned to her stash of liquor. From where she was lying down, she glared at the crystal bottles with swollen eyes. Making a rash decision, Kitsune stood up from where she was lying down and made her way over to the Death. There she surveyed it with hateful eyes before taking her balled up fist and hitting it against the closest bottle.

The result was pain in her fist. None of the bottle had been harmed. Just herself. Like always when it comes to the amber liquid. 

It was never hurt. It always hurt her.

Always.

Even when she was totally oblivious to the damage it was causing to her body. Kitsune's fragile, human body.

With that last thought, Kitsune slowly drifted off to a peaceful slumber.

.~.

Knock knock.

Kitsune cracked open her heavy eyes. Someone was knocking at her door. Groaning she sat up, occasionally grimacing at the dull pain in her upper left abdomen area.

"Come in." she managed, flicking her eyes to the screen leading out to the hallway.

The screen silently slid open. There stood a jubilant Naru. She hopped into the room with a large smile on her face.

"Guess what?" She asked. Her body language was oozing happiness.

"Chicken butt." Kitsune muttered. Naru threw back her head and laughed. Kitsune quirked an eyebrow at this gesture. Why the hell was Naru so happy?

"Umm…Naru? Is there a reason for your…your umm…bounciness?" The change was instantaneous. Boisterous and joyful Naru became the shy and demure Naru, blushing like a schoolgirl.

Naru shyly whispered her answer to Kitsune. "Keitaro's coming back today." 

Kitsune couldn't help smiling at this. Around two weeks back, Keitaro and Seta had left for South Asia to excavate what they thought was a colony of the turtle civilization. So they were coming back, huh?

"I bet Sarah's real happy."

"Yes she is! She even helped decorate the living room! We're going to have a party Kitsune!" Kitsune's smile fell. Naru failed to notice. "There's going to be food, karaoke, dancing, smiling and-just for you Kitsune, a whole bar filled with the best booze!"

Kitsune had turned her head away. Naru now noticed and ventured to put her hand on Kitsune's shoulder. At the contact, Kitsune turned to face Naru. She was crying.

"K-Kitsune? Why are you crying? Is something wrong?" 

No answer.

"Kitsune! You h-have to answer me! Did the d-doctor call? What did she say?"

There was a pause before Kitsune took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak.

"I-I'm…going to…die…" she whispered. Naru stared at her in shock then slowly recovered. A small smile was playing on her lips.

"You scared me there for a moment! I thought you were serious! Come on, we have a party to go to." Kitsune lifted her tear worn eyes to Naru's face and shook her head.

"I wasn't kidding. I'm going to die from liver cirrhosis."

The dam in Naru's eyes broke as her tears began to fall.

.~.

Downstairs, voices could be heard celebrating as Keitaro and Seta entered the Hinata House. They were all happy. Not for long.

Naru came down the steps gently, still crying. She made her way over to Keitaro who was talking with Haruka. 

"Keitaro?" He turned around. A genuine smile placed itself on his face before fading.

"Naru? Is something wrong?" By now, the room was silent.

"I need a hug." Naru buried herself in Keitaro's arms. As he stroked her hair, he sent questioning glances to the other surprised occupants of the room. Finally, Naru pulled back.

"Kitsune…she got a call from the doctor's. Sh-she is suffering from liver cirrhosis. She could die from it."

Hands flew up to faces, smiles dropped.

Hands gripped with joy became hands gripped with fear.

Tears began to fall; content moods began to fall.

The pale dusk sky splashed with gold and pink began to give way to night. The dark, lonely, eternal night.

.~.

Seta was the first to speak.

"How?" His voice was breaking. The ever-pleasant Seta was breaking.

"Drinking. She drank too much." There were a few scattered nods, as if accepting this fate as theirs too. Slowly, the crowd began to disperse, leaving Keitaro, Naru and Seta alone.

The three who had known Kitsune longest and knew her best.

"What are we going to do?" Keitaro asked, his eyes watching as Naru wiped away tears.

"She needs comfort. Sh-she is keeping it all inside. There might be some medicine she could take to help herself out! We have to help her! I can't lose her! She's my be-best friend! The only person th-that understands me!" At that outburst, Naru fell forward again into Keitaro's arms, crying, sobbing and losing hope.

Seta placed a hand on Keitaro's shoulder and nodded. Keitaro could take care of Naru. Seta would take care of Kitsune.

Seta made his way upstairs slowly, contemplating what to say. Ever since the tutor days had ended, he hadn't spoken to Kitsune much.

Better now than never.

He stood in front of Kitsune's door and held up a hand to knock. He took a deep breath and let his knuckles resonate against the screen. A feeble voice sounded inside. Seta let himself inside. There he found Kitsune tidying up her room. She was rolling up her futon right when he entered.

Kitsune started with surprise when she found it was he. She hastily tried to stand up but quickly fell down with a frown, clutching her upper right abdomen.

Seta was immediately at her side, helping her sit properly at the nearby table. Once she was settled, he sat down across from her, analyzing her.

"Am I that good-looking?" Kitsune remarked, slyly smiling at him. Seta managed a small grin. Kitsune took one last look at him before letting her smile drop.

"What do you want to know? Go ahead and ask." Seta paused before he began.

"How?"

"Alcohol consumption." He nodded.

"When did you find out…?" He trailed off.

"Ummm…earlier today. Around…oh…ten or eleven o'clock." Once again, he nodded.

"You are allowed to cry Kitsune." Kitsune's head snapped up to look at him with that comment.

"Why would I cry?"

"You might die."

"That was brutal."

"So is life."

"I think I would know."

"Yes you probably would. Better than any of us, I suppose."

"What are you now Seta? My shrink?"

"I want to be." 

Silence.

"You never paid much attention to me before. Why now? Is it because I'm going to die?" Seta looked startled.

"What do you mean?" Kitsune brought a slim finger up to the tabletop. There, she traced lazy circles on the surface.

"Well…" Kitsune let out a light laugh. But she wasn't drunk, "To tell you the truth Seta, I've always had a little crush on you." 

'That was the biggest understatement of the year.' Kitsune thought.

"Really?" He looked genuinely surprised.

"Yeah. I-I just came to terms with it recently. You would be a friend, nothing more. Maybe something less."

Seta nodded. "Kitsune…I think you should let out all your feelings right now. Then tomorrow, we can all take you to the hospital, see what you need and get out of there. You know, make sure you live."

"You actually care?" She was crying now. He reached for her hand and grasped it firmly.

"We all do Kitsune. You just need to let go. Say what you feel and…trust me…" Kitsune nodded and began.

"Suicidal tendencies. That really sums it up. I-I figure, kill myself now and get it over with. When I first got the call, it was surreal like. I was getting better and finally on my…my own. So it was odd when the doctor called and was like 'Oh you're going to die'. She wasn't really like that. In fact she was real nice about it. But…but I'm so young! I-I can't die! The stupid alcohol was always there for me! So I drank it and now look where it got me! I feel so-so helpless!"

With that, Kitsune fell onto the table, sobbing her heart out. Seta got up and sat down next to her. He took her in his arms and held her. Gently, Seta rocked Kitsune back and forth. Soon, she was only sniffling.

She sat up with a smile.

"Thank you Seta. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."

"So now you know Kitsune. You can count on the rest of us to be there for you."

Kitsune nodded with a smile. She could count on them. She could find solace in her friends.

.~.

Thank you guys so much for the reviews. You have no idea how much it means to me!

**Mantis Man**- You've been there from the beginning. My first ever reviewer and for that I'm very grateful to you. You also gave me the push to continue and are so supportive! Thanks ^.^

**mr-winkie**- I absolutely love your name! I thought it was the best! Thank you for the review! Second reviewer ever!

**dennisud**- Yes the Kitty might lose her life. Thank you for the support! I added Keitaro in. I hope that's okay!!

**Dark_Shadow**- Thank you for the compliment! Because of your review I'm actually considering adding in her past. What do you think? And as for Kitsune dying…I really haven't made up my mind yet.

If there are any typos I haven't found or some suggestions, feel free to give them! Thanks so much you guys! Love you all!


	4. Drowning in Comfort

Disclaimer: Not mine

Drown

Kitsune awoke the nest morning feeling much better. The pain in the abdomen was still there but it was less now.

Last night had done her good. She wasn't as weepy or solemn anymore. She could smile and eat. She could function.

Slowly, she got up and made her way downstairs. There were some solemn faces at breakfast but Kitsune chose to ignore them. She felt so good right then! She could conquer anything! Liver cirrhosis and all.

Kitsune reached over for more miso soup. Shinobu was an awesome cook.

"Shinobu, you're miso soup is delicious!" Shinobu blushed a quietly supplied a thank you.

"Kitsune, you have a doctor's appointment today." Motoko said.

Kitsune stopped the spoon midway to her mouth. "I do?"

"Yes you do. The doctor called again to make sure you knew. She said she thought you hadn't heard but didn't bother because you needed time to get over the shock." Kitsune nodded.

"What time?"

"In around three hours. At eleven." Again Kitsune nodded. Everyone resumed his or her meals.

Kitsune soon finished hers and got up. She would have to take a bath, get dressed appropriately, find a ride, and take a friend. Kitsune quickly finished her bath and got dressed. From there, she padded around trying to find Naru and Keitaro, maybe even Seta, to take her downtown.

Soon she found them. They were quietly conversing. Kitsune cleared her throat to make her presence known. They both turned around and smiled pleasantly upon her.

"Is there anything you need Kitsune?" Keitaro asked.

"Yeah. I was wondering if you both could give me a ride down to the hospital?" Kitsune then flashed a weak smile. She was slightly afraid of the hospital and what it represented. "I also need some moral support."

Naru returned Kitsune's smile. "Sure. But Keitaro doesn't have a car."

"I can borrow Seta's van. I'm sure it will be no problem."

"Okay then. In about an hour, could you two meet me down at the bottom of the steps of the Hinata House?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." Kitsune waved her thanks to them and retreated inside. She would walk around for a bit, read a bit and then go to the hospital when the time came.

Kitsune made her way upstairs and into her room. It was just a habit to come to her room.

She closed the screen behind herself and sat down at the table where she and Seta had sat yesterday. From there, she leant back on her arms and surveyed her humble adobe. 

Not much on the walls. Her table was in the center. Her futon would be placed next to it. Her stereo was in the corner, along with a few dancing books that hadn't been put back into their proper spot. Then there was her closet with her books and clothes.

Kitsune turned her head to survey what was behind her. There, in that position, she froze. She was facing her mini bar. Yesterday she had tried to break one of the bottles to no avail. Today she was a little saner.

She got up and made her way over to the bar. Kitsune reached out a hand and placed the tips of her fingers along the smooth glass, letting them slide down. Sometimes, she still got the urge for a drink. She overcame it with logic but it was still present.

She would have to do something about that. Kitsune made a decision. Tomorrow, or even today, she would get rid of it all…for good.

Of course, she would miss the solace it gave her when she was depressed. But she wanted to live.

Kitsune let her hand drop and turned around. She made her way to her counter on the other side of the room. There she had pictures of everyone she loved. 

Keitaro, Naru and the gang.

Seta and his family.

And her own family.

Kitsune picked up a picture of a family. She hadn't seen them in the longest time. They didn't even know what was happening to her. That their little Kits was dying.

A small tear made its way down Kitsune's face. Her family were the last to know. She had always been one to stay close to her family. But ever since the death of her father things had changed. She came to Hinata and practically lost contact. There was the occasional phone call but there had been nothing recent.

Maybe she should call them when she got back? Yes that was a good idea. She needed her real family right now.

With a sigh, Kitsune placed the photo down and turned to her clock. Almost time to go. Quickly, Kitsune made finishing touches on her outfit and left.

.~.

Kitsune made her way down the steps. At the bottom, she looked around for Seta's van. She saw them down the road on her left. She made her way over there. They were chatting with Seta and Sarah. 

Kitsune came over and said her hi's and hello's. The conversation on the ancient turtle civilization lasted for about five more minutes. Kitsune, Naru and Keitaro then boarded themselves into the van and took off for the hospital.

Once the van was parked, everyone exited and stretched for a few seconds. They then made their way to the office.

It took about thirty minutes for Kitsune to get called up. There, she entered the doctor's office slightly shaking from nervousness. What was she really here for? Hopefully for some good news. Kitsune crossed her fingers behind her back.

She sat down in the chair that Dr. Kaji motioned to. The doctor struck up a conversation.

"So how have you been feeling lately?"

"Mmmm…okay I guess."

"You guess? Why 'I guess'?" There was a hint of amusement in her voice.

"Well, I don't feel as bad as I did the first day. It doesn't hurt to sit, stand or walk. It's a dull pain but almost gone." The doctor nodded.

"I have some good yet bad news for you." Kitsune perked up at this announcement.

"Really?"

"Really really." More amusement.

"What's the news?"

"To put it bluntly you might not have liver cirrhosis. But don't get your hopes up. There's an eighty percent chance of you having liver cirrhosis. I just did a blood test the other day, not a biopsy. So I'll need to take some of your liver tissue and have that tested as well."

Kitsune didn't dare rejoice. The news was good but the biopsy results still had to come. Just one thing nagged here.

"Why did you tell me I had liver cirrhosis before you were certain then?"

"Good question. It was a slip-up on my part. I didn't think in your case. It was when I called you that it occurred to me. That's why I made another appointment so early for you." Kitsune nodded and smiled.

"Thank you." The doctor smiled.

"Do you want to schedule the biopsy now and get an explanation for it later or vice-versa?"

"Umm…I'll schedule it now."

"Okay. What day is good for you?" Dr Kaji had a pencil and paper pad ready.

"Tomorrow is good."

"No can do. Your appointment has to be at least a week from today."

"Okay. Today's…Thursday. So next Friday then?"

"Sure." The doctor scrawled the date down onto the pad and tore it off. She handed it to Kitsune.

"Do you want the explanation of the procedure now?"

"Yes I do."

"Okay. First of all, no painkillers of any kind at all this next week. No matter how bad the pain gets, you'll have to refrain. The painkillers will make it hard for your blood to clot. You can't eat or drink anything eight hours before your procedure. Nothing. You'll need a ride here. You won't be permitted to drive after we've given you sedatives. I'll also have to take another blood sample right now to make sure your blood clots properly. If not then we'll have to wait to let it. Have you taken any painkillers in the last two days?"

"Nope. None that I can think of." The doctor nodded and administered the blood test.

"Okay. You should be good to go. I'll call you tomorrow to let you know if we'll have to reschedule. I'll let you know what we do during the actual biopsy on the day of the procedure. How's that?"

"Great."

"Good. Well you're free to go."

"Thank you." Kitsune stood up and left. She made her way back out to the lobby. Both Keitaro and Naru were still there.

"How'd it go?" Naru's face was creased with worry.

Kitsune let out a small laugh. "I might not have cirrhosis. I have another appointment next Friday. You guys will have to bring me here again. And when we get home, remind me to call my parents."

They nodded. 

.~.

Is it possible for me to tell you guys how much I love you? I mean the reviews are so uplifting I almost cried. I mean…wow….

**Mantis Man**- Aww…Thanks for the compliments! I would e-mail you right now but my e-mail is being retarded. It'll receive but it won't send (weird, I know). So if you hold on for like another week (it's long, sorry) I'll e-mail you. And mantises are cool!!

**mr-winkie**- I've tried to fix the spaces. Hope you like it better. I looked back and didn't like the spaces either. Sorry! Thanks for the suggestion. Keep them coming!

Dark-Hand- You registered! Congrats! I was afraid for the longest time. And you added me to your favorites list! Ahhh!! I feel extremely loved now. Thank you so much for the compliments! 

**dennisud**-No thank _you_ for replying. I really appreciate it. I hope my fic isn't too cliché. Not what I wanted it to be. If you have any suggestions please give them. I do love them. And as for tearjerkers…I can't compare to some of them out there. But I'll try my best ^.^ Also, thank you for saying it's one of your favorite LH fics. You're so sweet!

**NefCanuck**- Short but sweet. That is one of the best compliments I have received yet. I am so glad I can paint that picture. The glimmer of hope hopefully intensified in this chapter. It was my own mistake actually. I forgot to add in the biopsy!! ^.^;

Thank you all so much! I was wondering…I've already incorporated it but what do you all feel about me adding Kitsune's past in here. Dark-Hand brought it up and I felt it was a good idea. But I would like some feedback on this subject. We've never learnt much on Kitsune's past so I thought it might add a little sentimentality to it. What do you think? Thank you all!!


	5. Drowning in Familiar Voices

Disclaimer-Not mine

Drown

The van screeched to a halt in front of the Hinata House. Kitsune climbed out, alone. She looked back to the two occupants of the van. 

"Aren't you two coming in?" 

"No. We'll drop the van back off at Seta's then walk back." Kitsune nodded and waved goodbye as she turned away. 

"Oh, Kitsune! I forgot!" Kitsune turned to face Naru who was grinning guiltily.

"You have to call your mom!" Kitsune's face went blank for a few seconds before a smile broke out. "Thanks."

With a last salute to the two lovebirds, Kitsune was off. She jogged up the stairs, taking two at a time. She soon reached the top and bent down, huffing. She was really out of shape.

Kitsune made her way inside. She was tired, needed a glass of water and needed to call her mom.

She made her way inside and got a glass of water. As she downed it in a quick succession of gulps, Kitsune reached for the phone. Once her fingers wrapped around it, she set the glass down and took the phone up to her room. She got the sneaking feeling she might need some privacy.

Kitsune passed a smile to Su and Sarah, both of whom were looking awfully guilty right then. She watched them creep down the hall before turning away grinning.

Life was great here. 

Of course, she had decided that long ago. She just realized it more acutely because of her might-be disease. Kitsune quietly slid her door open then slid it shut behind her. 

It was stuffy in the room. Frowning, Kitsune set the phone down on the table. She jogged lightly to the screen that opened up into the outside world. 

Kitsune threw that barring screen back. All of the sudden, a multitude of sound, smell and sight assaulted her senses. There were blossoming flowers, fragrant in their youth. The young buds, colored various shades of pink, purple, yellow and orange. Then there was the exotic aroma of street vendors, the local Chinese diner and the metallic gasoline smell from the whizzing cars. There was the sound of the cars, twittering birds, and chattering school children that were drifting back to school for their clubs and whatnot. For the eyes, there were the aforementioned flowers, cars, kids and the open blue sky, dotted with clouds.

Kitsune couldn't resist the grin that graced her lips. The view was magnificent. Maybe she'd visit that Chinese place later today. Their Kung Pao was the best in Hinata. They also had some real nice Japanese sake. They were Chinese but hey…why complain…

Then she remembered. 'Liver cirrhosis, stupid!' Kitsune mentally kicked herself. That was a waste of thought. Sighing, Kitsune retreated back to the table and sat down. From there, Kitsune held a staring contest with the phone. She obviously lost. 

Kitsune grabbed the phone and began dialing. Her heartbeat was up and so were her nerves. What would she tell her mom? A casual 'Oh I might die before the year is over'? No. She'd strike up a conversation, avoiding health. Then go on to her mom's flowers, the shop her mom owned, Kitsune's nieces and nephews, Kitsune's bro-…Someone had answered the phone.

"Hello?" Odd. Didn't sound like anyone she knew.

"Uh…Hi. May I please speak to Mrs. Konno?" There was a silence on the other end.

"Kitsune? Is that you?"

"Yeah…" Kitsune trailed off. She didn't know this person!

"Kitsune, it's Seta. You've got the wrong number." Kitsune brought her hand up to her forehead. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' 

Of course she would call Seta's place. That's the only phone number she had memorized.

"Sorry Seta. I wanted to call my mom."

He laughed good-naturedly. "I understand. No problem. Well, we should be coming over for dinner. I guess I'll see you later."

"Okay Seta. Bye."

"Bye Kitsune." There was a pause. "I love you." As she hung up, Kitsune smiled. Only he would joke about something like love. He had his.

.~.

Kitsune now had her mom's phone number in her hand. She sat down and took a deep breath. No crying. She had to remain calm, like the water. Sort of. Maybe. Kind of. Not.

Kitsune dialed the number and brought the phone up to her ear. She listened to the ringing expectantly. On the fifth ring, the phone was answered.

"Hello?" It was her mom. Kitsune felt a lump form in her throat. She was speaking to her mother!

"Hello? Is anyone there?" Kitsune realized she hadn't spoken.

"Mom? I-It's me. Kit-ts." There was a pause for a few seconds.

"Mitsune? My little baby girl? Oh my gosh!" Kitsune's mom yelled into the background. "Ryuichi! Seiji! Atasuke! Your sister is on the phone! Call Ai, Kadiri and Nahoko! Then call the grandkids! No never mind! I'll call them! Oki! Ruri! Setsuko! Yoshi! Izo! Jiro! Your auntie is on the phone!"

Kitsune heard a wild rush of noise in the background. Male voices surged, female voices 'shushed', children began to squeal or cry. 

"Oh my! It's been so long Mitsune! How have you been?" 

"Mom, how are you?" Kitsune ignored her mother's question.

"Oh I'm fine. My arthritis is starting to hurt my joints a little more but nothing some green tea won't heal." Kitsune couldn't help a giggle. Her mother was known for believing in any herbal remedy.

"Mitsune," Her mother's voice had softened, "it's been a very long time since I've seen you. Why don't you come over one day? Please?"

"Mom, I promise I'll come this year. And if I can't I'll send you tickets to come down here."

"Promise?" Kitsune threw back her head and laughed. "I promise mom. So how are your flowers?"

"They look beautiful this year. I have some white roses blooming, darling. You should really see them. Even your brother Atasuke thinks they look nice."

"Are you sure mom? You know Atasuke with flowers." Now her mother laughed, a full laugh like Kitsune's.

"Yes I do, dear. He's too 'manly' for them. Ironic that he married a botanist. Oh…here, I'll give the phone to Ryuichi."

"No! Mom! I need to te-!"

"Hey Kits." Kitsune sighed and slumped over.

"Hi Ryuichi."

"You don't sound too happy. Don't you like talking to your handsome, charismatic and kind older brother?" There was a smile in his speech.

Kitsune snorted at his words. "Me? Like talking to you? Please. I'm trying not to laugh."

A deep laugh sounded from the other end but then quickly became serious. "Really Kits. Something seems to be bothering you."

Kitsune bit her lip. He was her eldest brother. But still…She wanted her mom to know first…

"Okay…I'll tell you. But you have to promise me two things."

"Shoot."

"One: You have to be alone when I tell you so you don't go blurting it out."

"I resent that." Kitsune ignored him.

"Two: You have to give the phone straight to mom after this. No one else. None of your kids, nieces, nephews, sister-in-laws or brothers. Not even Ai."

"But she's my wife!"

"Shut up, you dork!" 

"Fine. Right now, I am walking towards the dining room." Kitsune heard his heavy footsteps. "I am in the dining room." Kitsune heard him stop. "And I have shut the dining room door." Kitsune heard the door slam.

"Okay. Now spill, little sis." Once again she bit her lip.

"Ryuichi? Promise me one more thing."

"Sure."

"You can't get mad." She was breaking again. Her tears were building up, threatening to fall. "Promise?"

"I promise." Kitsune took a deep breath. She was crying now. Tears were streaming down her face. 

"I might have liver cirrhosis. In s-some cases, it's fa-fatal…" 

Silence.

More silence.

Extended silence.

Kitsune dared to whisper into the phone, sniffing as she did. "Ryuichi?"

"Fa…fa…fatal?" Kitsune sniffed.

"Oh god." Ryuichi seemed to be rocking back and forth. Kitsune could picture him doing that. Then she heard him sniff. He was crying too. Kitsune broke.

"Oh don't cry! Please don't cry! Please Ryuichi! I'm the only one supposed to cry! Please!" Kitsune was out of control. He wasn't supposed to cry! He was supposed to be happy and laugh! Be the one to make fun of everyone! He had always been her rock! What about now?

"How can I not cry? How?" He whispered hoarsely. Along with her brother, over the phone, Kitsune began to sob endlessly.

.~.

Once her brother had calmed down, he told Kitsune he would give the phone to their mother. He would inform the others. Through the phone, Kitsune could hear the joyous voices of her family immediately quiet down when her eldest brother came back to the main room. 

"Konno Mitsune! Why is your brother crying? What did you say to him?" Kitsune was startled. She hadn't expected to hear her mother so soon.

"Oh! Mom…" Kitsune sniffed. She was still crying.

"…Mitsune? What's wrong?" Her mother's tone had gone down. 

"Mom. Promise not t-to get m-mad. Ple…please?" Kitsune swallowed. Her tears had yet to stop and she got the feeling that her joyful mother was going to start crying soon.

"Mitsune, baby. You have to tell me what's wrong. I had you ten tears after your brother, Seiji. I waited a long time for you. Now, I don't think I can wait any longer. It's been two years since I last saw you and I get the hopefully untrue feeling that something bad has happened to you." There was a pause. "What's wrong?"

"Mom…I might… 'Might' being the key word, have a disease."

"A disease?" Her mom whispered. She sounded terrified.

"Yes mother. A disease. It's called liver cirrhosis. A-and sometimes…it's fatal…"

"It's…what?" Her mom's voice was quivering.

"It's sometimes fatal." Then and there, both mother and daughter cried together.

.~.

Kitsune came out of her room, her eyes red and puffy. After speaking with her mother, she spoke in turn with her two remaining brothers, her three sister-in-laws and her nieces and nephews. It had left her emotionally weary.

Slowly, Kitsune proceeded down the steps. All the others were there, along with Seta and his family. Only a few of the gang noticed her, since the music was on so loud. The few that did notice her came and helped her around. 

Naru came and gently slid the phone out of her hand. 

Keitaro led her to the couch, where she sat down next to Seta.

Seta offered her a shoulder to cry on.

Haruka soothed her frazzled nerves and gave her some snacks.

All in all, Kitsune was happy with her families.

.~.

Thanks for all the reviews you guys. I've been very surprised at the response! I feel so loved when I read them. Hope you like!

**bakoxnako**-Hello! Thank you for the compliment! I know. LH would be real boring without Kitsune. And that's what's kind of tearing me apart on this. I know it's my story but I would love your feedback on what you think about Kitsune's death if I added it.

**dennisud**-You are so awesome! You've reviewed most of my chapters and you have very well rounded critique! You have no idea how much your reviews help! I try to keep the process as accurate as possible. It would be real retarded if it wasn't ^.^; I've actually considered bringing one of the guys closer. But not Keitaro. I feel he's too…uptight sometimes for Kitsune. She's very rowdy so I thought maybe a clueless Seta would work. Give me your feedback on this! Even Keitaro. Oh and as for my replies, I feel it necessary to tell you guys' thank you personally. I mean, you take time out to actually review. Thank you!

**mr-winkie**- Once again, I love your name! It's just so awesome! Like you! I have you and a few others who continuously come back to review and you guys just lift me up! Your reviews are so inspiring. Because of all of you, I continue to write. I'm glad you like the fixed spaces. I did too ^.^ I'm glad you think family is important. What would we do without it? It's just that in the manga (It's all I've read) everyone else's family is mentioned. Except Kitsune's. Dark-Hand brought that up and I felt family would be good.

**velocet**- Hola! I'm glad you feel my story is worth reading. Some of the stories here aren't that good, I agree. But again, thank you for your support and compliment. It means the world to me!

I hope that's everyone. Thank you all for your reviews. What do feel about romance in here? Any feedback on this is welcome. Good or bad. dennisud opened me up to that idea. Any characters in the show would be good. I just need your reasons for them. Thank you once again!


	6. Drowning in Uncertainty

Disclaimer: Not mine

Drown

A few days had passed, with no further news from her family. They seemed to be grieving by not communicating with her.

The doctor had called the day after Kitsune had called her family. Her blood test was good to go and she could have the biopsy as scheduled.

Now all Kitsune worried about was the alcohol. It still sat in her room, in the corner. Her little mini-bar in the corner, forsaken since she received the news. She had yet to empty it out. Why she couldn't do it, Kitsune couldn't comprehend. There was almost a type of bond that she held with the little bar. One that it had offered her shelter from the cruelties of the world and now she would offer it shelter. Either way, she didn't suspect it to be leaving anytime soon. Call it a weakness of the mind, call it an attachment, Kitsune felt that it had set up it's own mini shrine there.

Yesterday, there had been a confrontation with that vile substance. Or not-so vile substance. The whole gang, excluding Sarah, Seta and Haruka, had gone out to dinner at the local Chinese diner, the one with the best Kung Pao in Hinata.

Kitsune sat next to Mutsumi and Keitaro, both of whom seemed to enjoy the beer served by the place. It was tempting to snatch the smooth bottles out of their hands and drink the contents. Maybe all of it. No, just a sip. A nice, long sip. 

She had actually attempted it, much to the chagrin of Keitaro. Mutsumi really didn't seem to care. She started giggling and offering Kitsune more until everyone else snatched the alcohol away from the three of them.

Then came the lectures. It's not good for your health. Do you want to die? Stop trying to kill yourself. So, in the end, Kitsune had to make herself content with some bubbly.

Not champagne.

Soda.

Even then, she couldn't take her eyes off of the amber liquid that almost killed her. It was an addiction. She was emotionally, mentally and physically attached to it because of the prolonged and lonely nights she spent with it. It offered her solace when she needed it. But now it couldn't.

Kitsune went on to enjoy her evening with her friends. She would have enjoyed getting drunk…but that would have been stupid. Just plain stupid. Like life.

She didn't want this liver cirrhosis crap. Never asked for it. She just wanted to live. And for her, drinking was apart of that. 

Kitsune had mulled over these thoughts once they had reached the Hinata House after a long dinner. Now it was daybreak, with the early morning traffic and honking of horns reaching her ears. 

Kitsune sat up, her bones groaning in protest to the movement. She looked to where the screens were. Kitsune made her way over to them and opened them up. Not much to see. It was the usual but to Kitsune it was beautiful.

Her biopsy was in three days. Shinobu and Naru had been working together to come up with a diet that wouldn't harm Kitsune. The food still held it's quality but the quantity that Kitsune was allowed was limited. 

Only one bowl of rice. 

Only one bowl of pork.

Only one bowl of miso soup. 

It was all so redundant. But Kitsune couldn't complain. She wanted to live.

Kitsune made her way downstairs. There, she found everyone dressed and eating breakfast. They all had somewhere to go, leaving Kitsune alone for the greater part of the day. Even Tama-chan went somewhere. Naru, Keitaro, Mutsumi and Motoko all had to go to Tokyo U. Shinobu, Sarah and Su all had to go to school. Seta was off on another expedition. 

Kitsune sighed as the others all began to disperse. She would probably bathe first then walk down to the Hinata Café to visit Haruka.

Soon, Kitsune was lazily making her way down the steps, singing a little song to herself. It was a nice day with a gentle breeze. Temperatures were fairly warm, giving Kitsune the chance to wear Capri's and a tank top.

She walked down to the café in around ten minutes. It wasn't very far. She walked in, the door chime ringing to signal a new customer. The café was fairly full with people.

There were young families sitting down, parents coaxing their children to eat. 

There were waiters, scurrying about to take orders, give orders, and see to orders.

Kitsune stepped inside fully and made her way past the familiar podium from where people were seated. Today a girl named Chie was manning it.

Kitsune looked around for Haruka. She stopped one of the waitresses, Kimiko, and asked where Haruka was. Kimiko pointed to the kitchens, stating that the new chef was giving Haruka problems. Smiling, Kitsune made her way over to the kitchens and found Haruka calmly explaining the ways not to blow up a fish to s flustered young man. When Haruka noticed Kitsune she offered a wry smile then finished up. Soon she and Kitsune were chatting in a nearby booth.

"What are you up to?"

"Mmm…nothing. I don't have anybody at the House with me so I decided to drop by here. Plus I need some advice."

"Advice is what I'm here to give. Kami knows that Keitaro needs it." Kitsune let out a laugh, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"What kind of advice?"

"Everything. Especially on how not to mess up his entrance into Tokyo U." Kitsune looked puzzled.

"You didn't hear?"

"No. Was there something I should have heard?"

"I guess. Keitaro almost got booted out of Tokyo U because the turd walked into he female locker room."

"Locker room?"

"Girls that want to major in sports. They need locker rooms." Kitsune nodded.

"How's Seta?" At that, Haruka leaned back casually, as if thinking on how to word her answer.

"He's fine, just forgetful. He'll be home in around two weeks. It's sad how much he reminds me of Keitaro." Kitsune let out a small laugh.

"How's Sarah?"

"Good. Usually she throws tantrums when Seta leaves but I think she's getting used to having me as a mom." Kitsune nodded solemnly. Parenthood was hard. Haruka only had one. Her mom had four.

"What did you need advice on?" Kitsune looked up, startled. She hadn't been expecting that. 

"Oh. Well…it's kind of silly really. I don't even know why I'm asking for advice. I mean, who cares? I-I'm probably just becoming a nuisance to everybody but this problem is really bugging me. I never thought it was possible for something to be so strange. I know I should do what I should but I still can't! I've been-"

"Kitsune." Haruka interrupted her. "What's the problem?" Kitsune blushed a light scarlet. She had been ranting!

"We-well…I have a little bar in m-my room. But I can't se-seem to get rid of it. I want to b-but…" Kitsune trailed off. It couldn't be expressed with words.

"It's just a mental attachment. Think about it Kitsune. How long have you been drinking constantly?" Kitsune squirmed in her chair as she did the mental math.

"Eh. Around seven years."

"Exactly. For almost a decade, your body has been used to the continuous exposure to alcohol. But now you don't have it. You quit cold turkey.  That makes it even harder for you. Don't expect an easy ride. Your body is looking for that drunk feeling but it's not finding it. Just keep strong in the mind." Kitsune nodded. Haruka continued looking relaxed and speaking simultaneously. This time however, her voice was softer in tone.

"You can trust us Kitsune. We won't let you die. So you don't let yourself die." Kitsune lifted her head and looked at Haruka, tears reflecting in both females' eyes. Kitsune gave one last smile before standing up. She looked at Haruka who also stood up.

"One question before I go."

"Yeah?" Haruka turned her eyes to Kitsune nonchalantly.

"Why do they say 'cold turkey'?" Haruka let out a laugh before turning to Kitsune.

One last hug was shared before Kitsune departed.

.~.

Kitsune jogged up the stairs, reaching the top quickly. Daily walks had become apart of her routine so there was no need for her to 'huff-and-puff' this time around.

Kitsune made her way inside the House, finding that no one was home. She made her way her room where she straightened up. Going back downstairs, Kitsune went to the kitchen. 

There, she prepared a simple sandwich for herself. That's what Americans were handy for. Quick food.

Popping open a can of soda and grabbing a bag of chips, Kitsune made her way to the living room, where she sat down in front of the television.

There, she turned on the telly and flipped through the channels while eating her sandwich. So many channels, yet there was nothing to watch. 

Disappointed, Kitsune switched off the television to be greeted with the silence of solitude. She quietly chewed her sandwich hoping to keep the temporary peace. The same couldn't be said about the chips. They were too crunchy. The soda was okay. All she had to do was sip quietly.

However, Kitsune's artificial peace had to be broken sometime. And that time was now.

Kitsune had finished her lunch when she heard a buzzing of voices becoming louder. She hastily threw away her trash and made her way to the front of the house where the voices were growing in volume. She stayed inside, just in case.

Soon the voices were closer, but they were being shushed by other voices. Feminine voices made up the bulk. She heard footsteps make their way towards the door of the House.

Kitsune couldn't help but feel a little nervous. What if they were robbers? Kitsune looked around for something that could help her in case she needed to attack. Nothing. 

By now, the footsteps were up to the door, where they came to a stop. In the background a few quick footsteps joined the other ones. There was a knock.

Kitsune jumped. Slowly she turned to the door. They didn't have a peephole so she was taking a chance on what was on the other side. She slowly reached her hand out and wrapped her slim fingers around the chilling brass doorknob.

She turned it and took a deep breath.

She pulled it back and looked out to the person standing there. Fear immediately fled Kitsune's face. Shock replaced it. Pure, unadulterated shock. Kitsune's voice squeaked. After a few moments she was finally able to speak to the teary eyed visitor.

"Mom?"

.~.

Have any of you ever eaten a habenero? Don't. I did today for a Chile Eating Contest in my Spanish class and wow. Those little buggers are hot. And I only had one eighth of it. It's pure liquid fire.

Anyways, thank you so much for your encouraging reviews. I love suggestions and I am usually able to incorporate them into the story somehow. So give them out if you have them!

**mr-winkie**- I won't say anything on your name. You'll probably get annoyed ^.^ I felt that I would need the scene outside Kitsune's room for two reasons. One, this is really a self-actualization story and two, I needed to improve my imagery skills ^.^ But thank you for the compliment! It made me feel good about that part. The conversation over the phone was hard because I just couldn't get it right! I mean, you don't immediately tell your family 'Oh I'm going to die'! But again, thanks for the compliment. And also, some mild romance is in order. But it's hopefully going to be real subtle. It's very sad. ^.-

**dennisud**- I agree on the reviewing thing! I love reviews because they help me improve my writing. Because of you, I've actually chosen a man to get closer to Kitsune. I hope you like it though. You see, it might be a tad bit on the sad and subtle side. You'll have to have a little bit of an imagination to see the romance. The reason to why Kitsune left will hopefully be in the next chapter. I don't know yet ^.^ But hopefully I can come up with a good reason to why she left. Do you have any suggestions?

**velocet**- Thank you! I was more on your side than anyone else's when it came to the romance part but I decided to put a hint of romance. I'm not going to make it blatant. It's just going to be a 'Hey I'm attracted to that person' kind of thing. I hope that's okay! I also felt that there was no one suitable. Seta's already set down with Haruka and Keitaro with Naru. But I've made my choice. I've added a 'motherly' Haruka in here. Hope that you approve. Your review gave me that idea, otherwise it would have never occurred to me. Thank you for saying I won't make it clichéd. I know what I'm going to do at the end and I hope you really enjoy it! And English Lit is one of my favorite classes. That and history. Very interesting ^.^

**Book of Doom**- Hello! Kitsune is my favorite too! And I've also decided how I want to end this story. I hope you read on and approve. I thought a big family would be good because to me family is very important. My immediate family isn't as big as hers but I like big. I thought it was kind of funny too! Don't know why though…Sorry for sounding stupid but what's mugendai? I've never heard of it. And if it said that Kitsune had one older brother, well I've added two more! ^.^

**Dark-Hand**- You're back! I missed you! I thought you had gone on vacation or school had done something evil to you. The family was huge because I love my family but I sometimes wish it were bigger. So I gave my favorite character the hugest family without trying to sound out of place. Tell me if it worked ^.- Also, you're right about me slowing down. I'm not really trying to do that for the length, it's just so that I have more time to explain what goes on at a time like this. I hope that's okay. Plus, normally a person wouldn't take death so lightly. But I don't really have enough time for all that waiting. Any suggestions? Give please!

**FireBolt90001**-Hello! I'm glad that you thought that this was a tear-jerker. I didn't know it was a tear-jerker. I reread it and thought that it was too abrupt because of the sudden switch from mom to brother. You seem to be the only other person who thought Kitsune might have complications from her intake of alcohol. Go us! ^.^ Thank you so much for your review!

Wow…That was loonngg. Well thank you so much for your reviews and I hope you can give me suggestions.

Thank you!


	7. Drowning in Understanding

Disclaimer: Not mine. All I own is the lint in my pocket and the penny near my foot.

Drown

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be back in Kobe? What about the shop?" 

There was a tug at Kitsune's Capri's. It was her niece. "The kids are here! Don't they have school?"

Kitsune's eyes took in the scene behind her mother and nieces and nephews. It was her brothers and sister-in-laws. "Nahoko! Kadiri! What are you two doing here? You're both pregnant! And you!" 

She pointed an accusatory finger towards her eldest brother. "You have that big contract to manage with that American company!"

"I know." He supplied her with a casual smile. Kitsune was dumbfounded. She turned towards her sister-in-law, Ai. 

"You let him come?" Ai nodded gently. Kitsune's mom stopped examining the confrontation and turned towards her youngest child. "Now Mitsune you can't upset your liver. Let's all go inside and get comfortable." The kids cheered and raced inside.

"Mom! I can't 'upset' my liver! And you all won't be able to stay here! I don't think there's enough rooms!"

"No problem Kits." Kitsune turned towards her brother, Seiji. He was setting the luggage down in the living room. "We'll all take your room." Kitsune sputtered with disbelief.

The family soon got comfortable, with the exclusion of Kitsune. She just couldn't accept the fact that her whole family was here. All thirteen of them.

"Mitsune, darling come sit next to me." Kitsune's mother patted the spot next to her. Kitsune gently eased herself down. On her right was Kadiri, her brother Atasuke's wife. She was, as mentioned, a botanist. Next to Kadiri was Nahoko, a social worker. She was married to Seiji.

Kitsune stared at Nahoko's stomach now that she had a clear view. "You're huge." She muttered.

Nahoko let out a laugh. "I'm having twins. That'll mean…what? Four kids?" Kitsune nodded dumbly. "You'll be a Japanese baby breeding machine!"

"I already am." Kitsune nodded uneasily. That was lots of pain.

She slowly turned to her mother, who grasped her hand. "So when did you say your biopsy was?"

"In three days, Ma." Kitsune's mother nodded. "Well, I'm sure you'll find that you won't have liver…umm…liver…What is it called again?"

"Cirrhosis."

"Ah yes. Well you won't have that because I'll be giving you herbal tea everyday. I'm thinking a mixture of Chinese and Indian. What do you say?"

"Mom." Atasuke had spoken up. "Let her be. I think she'd rather live three more days then die from one of your 'remedies.'" He joked. Kadiri gasped and admonished him. He apologized but it was all in good humor. Their mother wasn't affected in any way.

"Well where are your friends?" Kitsune opened up her mouth to tell them that the whole gang was out but at that moment Naru, Keitaro, Motoko and Mutsumi all burst through the door, laughing at a joke of some sort. They froze when they saw the scene in front of them.

Naturally, Mutsumi was the first to recover. "Why hello! I'm Mutsumi! Are you friends of Kitsune's? She's a very nice girl! Do you like watermelons? I do! I must say-"

A hand was slapped over Mutsumi's mouth but she failed to notice. Motoko grimaced and bowed. Keitaro and Naru followed suit.

Kitsune hastily stood up and introduced all of them to her family and her family to them. Everyone was uneasy around each other. Why, Kitsune didn't know. But she needed an icebreaker! Quickly! Ah-ha! She had one! For a brief moment, she pitied Keitaro.

"Hey Keitaro." Kitsune's voice had slid into a smooth, seductive tone. Her eyes glittered with mischief and to say the least, her family was surprised. "What's this I hear about you walking into a girl's locker room?"

The reaction was instantaneous. All eyes turned towards Keitaro, laughter bubbling up. 

Naru however, looked ready to kill. Naru didn't seem to be aware of this recent happening. She and Keitaro had just recently cemented the fact that they were a genuine couple and now this? 

Motoko's aura had become dangerous. Girl's locker room? Mutsumi was giggling and pointing towards Keitaro.

"I-I didn't mean to! It was a-an accident! I swear!" He was pleading, not to the group but to Naru.

"And how did I not know of this?" Naru was twitching. 

"We-well…I-I…Yeah…" Naru just huffed and made her way to the children and began to play with them. No need for a scene right now. Keitaro made his way over to them men who started to joke with him. A comfortable conversation ensued. Mutsumi and Motoko joined Kitsune and the ladies. Naru came a few minutes later. 

A round of twenty questions ensued form both parties. Where did you grow up? What are the names of your children? How long have you two been a couple? It was the usual.

Both parties adjusted into conversations. Soon, Su, Shinobu and Sarah came home. All became self-conscious all of the sudden but in the end, they played with the children. Once Su and Sarah were comfortable enough with the rest of the group, they began their antics, which extracted laughter from the group.

Shinobu soon prepared food. Compliments were dished out by the dozens. Shinobu couldn't help but smile and offer thanks.

Haruka and Seta were informed of this growing 'party' and they soon arrived. With their arrival came more laughter and topics of conversation. Haruka spoke with the three sister-in-laws on kids. Apparently, she and Seta were trying for a child. 

Kitsune couldn't help but to let her mood slip. He was moving on. And so should she.

Her mother, of course, noticed. Thinking that Kitsune had upset her liver, she turned the subject of the conversation to accommodations. A number of options immediately sprung up.

In the end, it was decided that they would all stay in the two extra rooms here at the Hinata House. Kitsune's mother would share a room with her. Atasuke and Seiji's families would share a room. Ryuichi's family would stay alone in another.

Everyone soon dispersed, leaving the residents of the Hinata House and Kitsune's family there. The families were showed to their rooms. They were soon ready to go to sleep so they said their goodnights and did so.

It was a good night for them indeed. But not for Kitsune.

.~.

Kitsune's mother stepped into Kitsune's room and dropped her luggage. She spread out her arms, closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Kitsune came in behind her mother and froze. Her mother was very strange.

"Mom? What are you doing?" Her mother looked back at her.

"I'm flying, honey."

"You're flying? Right Ma." 

"Go on, don't believe me. But the heart and soul need to soar." Kitsune shot a skeptical look her mother's way then shook her head.

Kitsune's mother began to look around. The whole lay out was very nice.

"Have you been taking those Feng Shui classes?"

"No Mom." Kitsune couldn't help a little smile.

"Oh." Kitsune's mother continued the journey of her eyes around her daughter's room before she froze.

"Mitsune? What is that?" Kitsune straightened up from rolling out the futons.

"What's what?" Kitsune followed her mother's gaze and began to squirm. Her mother was looking at the mini-bar.

"Is that…alcohol?" Kitsune gathered a sheet in her hands and walked over to the bar.

"Yes Mom it is. Now, I'm almost done setting out the futons so-"

"No! Mitsune! Isn't this the stuff that caused your disease?" Kitsune sighed.

"Yes it is. I'll throw it out soon."

"Soon?! How about tomorrow?"

"Mom! You don't know what I've been through!"

"I know that I don't know! But you shouldn't keep this dangerous liquid here!"

"Mom, remember how you were with Dad's ashes? Never wanting to throw them away? That's how I am with these-these bottles!"

"Why?! I had a valid reason to why I wanted to keep them! He was my husband!" Kitsune's mother was in tears now. "But this hurt you!"

"It gave me the comfort and shelter I needed from this world! It was my solace!"

"What about your friends? What about us? It's hurting us too! If you won't throw it away for yourself, then throw it away for everyone else! I'm only worried for your safety. I'm your mother."

Kitsune turned away. Tears were shining in her eyes now. She was hurt. Her mother didn't understand. And now she was using the guilt trip to make Kitsune listen to her.

"Fine." Kitsune sniffed and wiped away her tears. "I'll throw it all away tomorrow."

"Promise?"

Kitsune sighed. "Yes." Kitsune's mother took one last shaky breath and made her way over to Kitsune. There she wrapped her arms around her youngest child. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Kitsune nodded. "How about after I've recovered from the biopsy, I take you sight-seeing around Hinata?"

Her mother smiled and nodded. "Sure."

.~.

_~A mother's love is unconditional~_

Woo-hoo! I'm back! Sorry. I was procrastinating on my homework and so I had to do it all Friday. The Friday when I should have been typing up this chapter. But Happy Late Thanksgiving to anyone that celebrated it! Yum…

The reviews were awesome! Thanks so much!

**dennisud**-Thanks! I felt a family visit would be what would take place. If you told your family you were dying, they'd come over, right? I know mine would. This chapter was actually hard to write because I didn't know how to plan out the fight and the interaction between the two groups. I'd say I've had better chapters. Your suggestions have been put to use! I've got the guy all lined up for entrance and as for Kitsune's realizing something…It'll be there ; )

**mr-winkie**- I'm glad I'm not annoying you with my "I love your name!" comments. I really do like it though! How'd you come up with it? I thought the attachment would be appropriate because quitting cold turkey isn't easy. Lots of people try but it never works. So I'm putting it in here. It'll be less realistic if I didn't, right? And habeneros are hot! I had the worst stomachache the next day. And I usually eat spicy food so…wow! How'd you get to eating it? Was it a dare?

**Fragile Reflection**- Hello! I can't tell you how this is going to end. It's a secret ;) You're one of the few people who seem to be okay with her dying. I wouldn't mind killing her off either. Makes a difference, right? I almost told you the ending there! Oops. I had to delete it. Hehe…

**Mantis Man**- It's been hard but I'm here. How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was lots of fun! I'll tell you later. You'll die of laughter. Anyways…I'm glad it's in character. One of my hardest challenges was there. Because I don't think Kitsune would be all seductive and stuff with her family there and with this impending death thing. Gosh I just love your compliments! I actually thought about another character story like this. But who? I need an obsession to write about. 

**velocet**- Haruka is awesome! You might like one of my next stories then. Haruka is a major character in that one. I actually thought the pace was kind of fast. I've slowed it down in these last few chapters but before it was way too fast for me. I thought the addiction thing should have been addressed. It would be silly without it. I'm foreboding your foreboding reaction to the romance section of this story. But trust me! It's not layered on. It's just 'Oh I like you. Bye.' I hope that's okay!


	8. Drowning in Anxiety

Disclaimer: Not mine

Drown 

IMPORTANT NOTE: I fixed one minor but major error in the last chapter thanks to velocet. I also want to let people know that I have only read the manga of Love Hina (Thanks Mantis Man, for reminding me). So I wasn't really aware of any accents that Kitsune had in her speaking. If there any other mistakes, please let me know.

Kitsune looked around nervously. The days had passed quickly at the Hinata House since her family had come. It was now the day before her biopsy and Kitsune was having her hair done…by her nieces.

She was kind of iffy on why they would want to style her hair in the first place. It wasn't that long. She'd grown it out to her shoulders and had it flipped out but it was still pretty short. But being the children that they were, her three nieces were able to find a variety of ways to style it. All of those ways were painful.

Kitsune would scrunch up her face now and then, much to the delight of the youngest boy in the family, Jiro. He would squeal with delight every time she did that.

However, soon the poor thing became tired from watching his sisters and cousins play with Kitsune's hair. He got up and ran around trying to find his mother so he could complain. Kitsune, not knowing what was on his mind, called him back. Jiro turned around and looked at her while still running.

The little boy never saw the wall coming. 

(AN: My little cousin keeps on running into the wall. It's the best thing in the world. And the kid never ever cries. Just gets back up and moves on.)

Kitsune let out the giggle. But that was soon interrupted with a vicious twist of the hair by her niece, Setsuko. Kitsune winced.

At that moment, Kitsune's mother came in, holding Jiro. When she saw her daughter at the mercy of the Horrid Hairdressers, she laughed and shooed them away.

There was a little grumbling but everyone survived and scampered off to find their next victim.

Kitsune's mother sat down next to her daughter.

"Do you feel better?" She asked. Jiro squirmed out of his grandmother's arms and ran off to find his mother…again.

Kitsune nodded and squinted and she combed through the knots and twists in her hair. The girls thought it was a good idea to put leaves and sticks in her hair.

Kitsune's mother reached over and began to pull out the offending objects.

"I didn't mean about you hair." She murmured. Kitsune looked at her, confused.

"Then what are you talking about?" 

"The alcohol in your room." There was a pause as Kitsune recollected the thoughts from the morning.

The morning after her family had arrived, they hadn't thrown away the alcohol. Too much had to be done. The task kept on getting put off until today morning.

They had awoken and immediately, Kitsune's mother got to work. She began to gather the bottles and pour the liquid down the sink in the bathroom. The bathroom was soon filled with the odor but Kitsune's mother emptied it all. Kitsune helped with the last four bottles. It had been hard but she'd managed.

"It was hard."

"Are you happy you did it?" Kitsune nodded uncertainly.

"I still crave it mom. Not as much as I used to, but the craving is still there." Her mom nodded. "Just know that I'm proud of you. It took your grandfather a long time to quit smoking. You quitted like that." She snapped her fingers.

Then, in came running the little boys and the males of the gang. That gang included Seta and Keitaro. They were all joking amicably.

There had been no real squabbles between the two groups, for which Kitsune was proud of. She thought that her sister-in laws and the females of her gang might have a problem.

There had been a minor one between Shinobu and the sister-in-laws. They hadn't trusted Shinobu with the cooking. That had upset the calm and semure Shinobu. But Kitsune had taken the three aside and explained to them the position that Shinobu was in. She was the cook of the dormitory. After that, the sister-in-laws decided just to be assistants to a girl almost twenty years their junior.

But in the end, they all gelled together, like peanut butter and jelly.

They were one big happy family.

Then, in came the men, interrupting Kitsune's train of thought. The men carried in the groceries. Keitaro set down the list Shinobu had made on the counter.

Kitsune longingly looked at the wide array of food set on the counter. There was everything. Everything. The everything that Kitsune couldn't have. She couldn't eat dinner because of her impending biopsy.

Eight hours before her biopsy, Kitsune couldn't have anything to eat. Because of that, everyone was taunting her about the delicious food to be made by Shinobu and the sister-in-laws.

There was the fact that Kitsune could partake of the food if she wanted to because the biopsy would be more than eight hours away after dinner. However, Kitsune didn't want to take any chances. So she opted out of dinner and breakfast. She decided only to have a piece of bread or two.

Soon, there were eclectic aromas of various spices wafting throughout the dormitory. There was a hint of cinnamon, a pinch of nutmeg and a ladle full of tomato soup. What all these independent flavors were going to make today was a mystery to all but Shinobu and her "assistants."

"Dinner time!" called Ai.

There was a mad rush for the table. All the children and men fought for places at the table while the females casually occupied them. The places were all soon occupied with the smell of food wafting to their noses.

Shinobu looked at them all and beamed. "Dig in." she said. The rush of arms towards the center was incredible. Everyone was clambering for food, except for Kitsune, who sat back and enjoyed the joy shone on everyone's face.

.~.

The next morning, Kitsune awoke, feeling grumpy and hungry. She had watched everyone devour good food last night while she had to be satisfied with bread. But that was one of the lesser worries on her mind.

Her biopsy was today.

Kitsune stood up, grabbed clothes, and made her way out to the bath area. She quickly bathed and found herself in the kitchen where everyone was eating breakfast. 

Kitsune smiled weakly at them. She couldn't even drink water. Instead, she sat herself down and watched the others gorge themselves.

Soon it was time to leave. Kitsune felt her adrenaline begin to pump. She was very nervous. The only people coming were her mother, her eldest brother, her eldest sister-in-law, Naru, Keitaro and Haruka. Those six would be responsible for giving her moral support.

Kitsune looked over at everyone and bid her goodbyes. They were all as anxious as she was. The procedure was supposedly simple but the resting period was immense. 

Various thoughts began to fly through Kitsune's head. She wasn't at all prepared for this surgery and she felt as if she would throw up if she even allowed herself to go through with the surgery. 

The car lurched forward and Kitsune placed a hand on the seat in front of her. Her mother and Naru both grasped her hand. They were at the hospital.

Kitsune and the others made their way inside the hospital. It was a nice wing of the hospital which they were in. Kitsune shrugged off all support and made her way over to the receptionist.

"Umm…hello?" The receptionist looked up at Kitsune and smiled widely.

"Hello! How may I help you?" The attitude of the receptionist immediately put Kitsune's fears to rest. She was safe with these people.

"I'm here for a liver biopsy. The doctor told me to come an hour early…so here I am." Kitsune added a smile for the added effect.

The receptionist nodded and flipped through some pages. "Your name must be Konno Mitsune, correct?" Kitsune nodded. Again the receptionist smiled. "Okay. One second."

She turned to one of her fellow receptionists and said a few quick words to her. Then she stood up and made a motion for Kitsune to follow her. In turn, Kitsune motioned to her group to follow her.

As they made their way down to the room of her surgery, Kitsune couldn't help but seek comfort in those around her. It was nerve-wracking. She wasn't used to this kind of stress.

They entered the room where Kitsune was to have her biopsy silently. The receptionist told Kitsune to sit down on the hospital bed while she fetched the doctor. Before she left, she offered the rest of the group refreshments. No one took any.

Soon, Dr. Kaji arrived. She smiled at Kitsune.

"Shall we begin?" Kitsune glanced over at her support group and nodded. She was as ready as she would ever be.

"Okay then. Lay down please. I'm going to have to pull your shirt up pretty far. Do you want them to leave?" The doctor motioned towards her brother and Keitaro.

"How far up?"

"Eh…Around your ribcage. A tad bit higher than that." Kitsune shrugged. "They can stay." The doctor nodded. She pulled up Kitsune's shirt.

"Place your right hand above your head please." Kitsune did so.

"Okay. Now, I'm going to make an outline of your liver and then I'm going to insert an anesthetic to numb it." The doctor did so and waited for a few minutes as the anesthetic took affect.

Kitsune let out a smile. "It feels so weird." She murmured. The doctor smiled. "Oh the rest is going to feel and look much weirder. For this next part, you're going to have to hold absolutely still, okay. Otherwise, if you don't, I could nick your lung or gallbladder and that won't be pretty." 

Kitsune let out a small giggle. "Now, hold your breath for ten seconds. On your mark, get set, go."

Kitsune sucked in her breath and closed her eyes. The moment her eyelids shut, she felt pressure being applied to the area. "I'm making an incision in this area. So hold still Ms. Konno." After a few minutes, there was another announcement.

"Okay. The needle is in." For the next few minutes, Dr. Kaji worked on getting a sample of her liver tissue out. Finally it was done.

"Be happy Kitsune. We're done! Now, don't move. I'm going to bandage the area and then I'm going to have to have to hold a towel to your incision for around one to two hours. After that, you can go home. But, you'll have to rest in bed for a long time, getting get only for the bathroom. The total rest time should be twelve hours. You'll feel a bit of pain but take Tylenol for that, not aspirin or ibuprofen. Those two will thin your blood. A nurse will monitor you until you're ready to leave, okay? So until next time, good-bye!"

The doctor left, after a few more words with Kitsune's gang. Soon, everyone was trying in some way to help Kitsune. They were however, only causing her more pain. Haruka helped her out.

"Just back away people. Give her room to breath." Kitsune meekly thanked Haruka, who only nodded in return.

Two hours later, Kitsune was back at home resting. She was feeling a bit of pain and had followed the doctor's orders to take Tylenol. Now she was resting in her futon, slowly being lulled to sleep by her ever-present shamisen music.

.~.

Two things. Sorry for lack of updating. I've been very busy with homework. I wouldn't expect very many updates until January. I have lots of work over winter break. But check my bio if you want regular updates on how I'm doing with this stuff.

The end was very rushed. I'm very sorry, but I thought you guys deserved an extra chapter.

On to reviews:

**dennisud**- That chapter was a scene setter! Wow. You're good. J Thanks for reviewing, once again. You're one of the few people that return. I actually thought about a confrontation but I couldn't really think of one except for the one mentioned with Shinobu and the others. I can't picture little Shinobu arguing.

**mr-winkie**- Yup. Kitsune's family is huge! I like huge. So she got humongous! I'm glad you liked the scene between Kits and her mom. It was hard because I didn't know how everyone would react to stuff like that. Some people would be real calm with that kind of stuff. I wouldn't. You're friends are mean…but funny…you actually ate a whole one???? I ate a little piece of the habenero and my mouth was on fire! You must have been dying!

**Labyrinth**- Hey! Thanks! ::giggles:: You're stalking my fic! That is funny!

**Dark-Hand**- Lots of people are cool! I couldn't think of any interesting situations so there won't be any. Sorry. L I've actually thought of the different reactions. I'll look more into it. Thanks for the compliments! You're getting close on the ending. I won't say which one though….

**velocet**- Thanks for catching my mistake! Thank you so much! Life is busy for me too so I don't blame you. I do hope you'll like my next fic. It's kind of like this one but it's an AU.  I'll let you know when I post it. No worries ;) Once again, thanks for catching that major mistake!


	9. Drowning in Security

Disclaimer: Not mine

Drown

Quite a few days had passed since Kitsune's biopsy and soon afterwards, she had gotten her test results.

They were mailed to her, just copies of them. The hospital had called to ask how she would like to receive the news. At that moment, everyone had been in the living room near her. They were having a birthday party for Su.

Because of that, she chose being mailed. Not much to be said about that in itself. However, crying in front of everybody was not on her to-do list.

Everyday on afterwards the phone call, Kitsune would go down to get the mail. When she received the packet, she ran upstairs to hide from anyone. She didn't know how she would react.

As she opened the room door, she heard a faint lilting music. The shamisen. Frowning, she made her way over to the radio to turn it off. Stopping in front of it, she reached out her lithe hand then paused.

It sounded nice right now. It suited the moment. 

Calm.

Enigmatic.

Haunting.

Kitsune straightened up and brought up the packet. From there, she proceeded to rip it open. She was impatient.

The envelope slipped to the floor silently as Kitsune skimmed through the results. She stopped as she found what she was looking for.

It was funny how she didn't feel any emotion at the results.

She had been expecting a racing heart and maybe some sort of strange facial expression that slips onto people's faces on times like these.

But she calmly shuffled back to the first page and began to read every single word.

She had been prepared for that, she later realized. There had been a little bit of hope but it wasn't as magnified.

After she had reviewed her results, she set them into a drawer and left her room. Some fresh air would be good now.

On the way outside, she passed a few family members, Su, Sarah and Mutsumi.

When they saw her face, their reactions were mellowed out. They offered smiles and went over and hugged her. That was when tears began. Once that happened, it was as if magically, everyone began to filter in and give his or her support to Kitsune.

All the females were tearful. Naru couldn't stop crying. Naru and Kitsune's mother held each other before reaching for Kitsune. They both took it the hardest.

Everyone else seemed to be handling it like them. Emotions were high and everyone was comforting someone. It seemed as if they had all held that little morsel of hope close to their hearts but in the end, it was wrenched away.

Kitsune could understand why they behaved like that.

Her tests were positive. She had liver cirrhosis.

.~.

As had been promised, Kitsune had taken her whole family around Hinata. She took them to the industrial section and then the downtown area.

They fell in love with every place there.

After that, she took them to the temple where they celebrated the Cherry Blossom Festival every year.

(AN: Is that the festival's name?)

They weren't quite as pleased at this site than at others. They complained that ones at Kobe were better. 

At that, Kitsune had just rolled her eyes.

"Of course you have better ones! Kobe is very old compared to Hinata." Grudgingly, everyone agreed that comparisons could not be made. 

After touring the rest of Hinata with an actual tour group, The family returned home. The next few days were spent in harmony. However, that would soon end.

.~.

Everyone at Hinata was stressed at the moment. Her brother, Ryuichi had to go back because his company had lost the deal with a British company because its American counterparts didn't approve of the foreign software exchange plan. He wasn't surprised, he had said.

"The plan was too pricey anyways. We need to lower the cost of the Japanese Intel Processes and Japanese SCSI software. I don't understand why they priced it so high. It's really old. Our Linux or Cisco I can understand but SCSI? If we keep this up, we'll be dead. Like we almost are now." He rationalized. He and his family were going to leave alone but Kitsune's whole family decided to leave together.

The departure came and went.

Emotions yet again ran high. Relationships had been forged but now they were going to be held at a distance.

Kitsune's mother took it hardest. Once she got over her tears associated with Shinobu, she'd go on to Motoko and burst into tears all over again. It was comical for the rest of the group.

Seta and Haruka also dropped by to see the family off.

Kitsune's mother felt a need to thank Haruka a lot for her presence in her daughter's life. Haruka waved it off as nothing, but it could be seen that she had tears in her eyes.

The family was soon gone, leaving a trail of silence and solitude. The drifting away began. Each went to their own place, doing what had to be done.

Soon, only Kitsune was left. It was going to be hard without her family. She hadn't told them everything that needed to be told.

Like, for example, her addiction.

She was still addicted to the alcohol. 

And she remembered feeling torn when she had to throw away her alcohol.

Whenever she would see a glass of sake or beer or something of the sort, she would crave. Her stomach would literally itch for the drink.

Her body would retch forward for the liquor.

But then would come the guilt. Shadowing herself and covering her cravings. She would then crawl into a shell, knowing what would happen if she got a hold of the alcohol.

She would drink it without inhibition. 

Kitsune wouldn't stop for anyone. Not even her mother.

With those final contemplations, Kitsune turned on her heels and walked back to the house. 

.~.

The day was restless.

Nothing to do.

No one to talk to.

Everyone was gone out on an errand.

Or a class.

Or a business trip.

Or a field trip.

And because of that, Kitsune was left alone at home. Again.

She was utterly bored. Usually she would sit down and listen to her shamisen music. But she'd done that three times already.

Her next option would be to go down to Haruka's place. But she was away with Seta. They were going to excavate a site together. Without Haruka there was no one.

Kitsune changed her position on the couch once again. Now she was splayed over the couch with her head hanging off, upside down.

There was nothing to do. Nothing!!

Kitsune jerked up and sat properly. She grabbed a magazine and began flipping through it. Nothing.

She threw down the magazine and flipped on the television. Nothing.

Kitsune sighed as she turned the television off. Can you say _bored_?

She sighed as she decided to sit. Yes. Just sit. Sit and do nothing.

Then the phone rang. Kitsune sprang up, clutching her heart.

That was completely uncalled for.

Kitsune frowned and answered the phone.

When she answered, in the background, she heard laughter. 

"Hello?"

There was a laugh then a pause. "Oh. Hello? Kitsune?" It was Naru.

"Naru? What's going on? Where are you?" There was more laughter and Naru joined in.

"Oh! Kitsune. Sorry. Look, me, Keitaro and a few of the others are going to go out to dinner. Uhhh…I think Su is coming home and so is Sarah. Shinobu will come home too."

"Sure. Have fun." Kitsune hung up. She limply let her hand fall near the phone. They were going without her. No use in grumbling. They were younger and with their friends. Keitaro was older in age but in spirit and mentality, Kitsune knew that she was.

"No use in crashing their party." She muttered. They were probably were thinking in her best interest anyways. Why? They would probably go drinking. Bar-hopping.

Once again, no problem. 

There was a knock on the door. Kitsune got up and answered. It was Sarah, Su and Shinobu. They marched right past Kitsune, laughing and joking.

"Kitsune! I'll have your dinner ready shortly!" Shinobu smiled at Kitsune. 

"Sure Shinobu. Do you need help?" She shook her head no.

Kitsune nodded and went into living room. The cooking would have given her something to do. Now she was bored…again.

'My life is so redundant…' she thought.

The doorbell chimed. Kitsune twirled around suddenly. Once again, she didn't expect it.

Kitsune made her way over and opened the door harshly.

What she saw shocked her.

"Kentaro?"

.~.

Wow. It was five pages long…like all my other chapters…. Sorry. This one is better than my last chapter.

That one was horrible. Absolutely yucky. Very choppy. This one is too. But I felt that the choppiness helped show how much her life has changed.

I got a Love Hina DVD. I thank my friend for it. But the English voices are annoying! I'll try the Japanese version. Later.

Thanks for the reviews. And thanks to The Epyon Avenger for putting me on their favorites list. Yay!

Reviews:

**dennisud**-I try to keep the chapters as accurate as possible. Otherwise it'll just be silly. I did think about the AA meeting but it didn't fit into what I had planned. But thank you for the suggestion. It was indeed a very, very good idea!

**velocet**-Don't feel mean! What you did was really good! If you hadn't pointed it out, I would have kept it there until someone flamed me for it. So yeah…But thank you for the compliments on the detail. I was so happy! My friend actually got me the DVD and I watched it to see if you were right. And you were. It's not as good as the manga. But it helps give me an idea of accents and everything else. So that's good. Haruka is small here but the next fic has three major characters and I would say she is the second most important.

**Cheshire Cat5**-Hi! You were the only one that noticed how quickly she gave in! I felt that she hasn't seen her mother in such a long time so she would be like "Yeah sure whatever". But also that she's had time to bring her addiction level down. It's there but not as magnified. It might be hard to go in-depth on emotion here for me. I don't really know how. I tried but it didn't turn out that great. Sorry!

**mr-winkie**-Yay! You reviewed! I almost got worried when you didn't. Sorry…thank you for giving me time. I thought it might be good to get this out there then get out another one next year.

**Kai5**- Thank you for the compliments! I feel so loved! I didn't really think of it as a tearjerker. I thought that scene was done poorly. But thank you!

**Book of Doom**- That sounds cool. Maybe I will e-mail you about it. I think I might need it. Thank you so much!


	10. Drowning in Pain

Disclaimer: Not mine

Drown

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd come and take a lovely young lady such as yourself out for a good time tonight. Are there any around?"

Kitsune frowned and placed her hands upon her hips.

"And just what do you think you are doing, Kentaro? Barging in here and saying that I'm not a woman? Pretty cocky for someone to say that when no one around can be sure of that person's own sex."

Kentaro just waved off her comment and stepped past Kitsune to be met by the three young girls inside.

"Where's everyone else?" He turned back to Kitsune. "Did they run away from your abominable stench?"

"No, they ran when they smelled your cologne from five miles away." He graced her with a small smile. "I guess you're the only one then."

"What are you talking about?"

"I need to have a small party after I bought a brand new plane thingamabob. Those things are so handy. Would you like to join me?" He bent over and offered his hand to Kitsune. She smiled devilishly and slipped her hand into his.

"Let me go get my coat and purse." He nodded.

'He's a good guy, all in all.' Kitsune thought as she jogged up the stairs. 'A little cocky, arrogant but good in the heart.'

Kitsune ran into her room and grabbed her coat and purse. Within minutes, she was back downstairs, slipping on her coat.

"Shinobu, you don't have to make dinner for me. Su, please stay calm and no trying to eat Tama-chan. Sarah-"

Shinobu interjected into her speech with a smile. "We'll be fine Kitsune. Just have fun and don't hurt yourself."

In return, Kitsune smiled back. She caught the underlying meaning to that. No alcohol. "Thanks Shinobu." She muttered. 

It was embarrassing. She still craved for a bad thing. She knew it was true that if given the opportunity, she would take a drink. How many, she couldn't tell. But she knew that she would take them.

Turning to Kentaro, Kitsune grinned. "Okay, lets go!"

With that, they set off into the dark night.

.~.

As they walked down the stairs of the Hinata Inn, a steady conversation on planes was being held. Kentaro felt the need to let her know the type and make of everything on his plane. She couldn't help but laugh.

When they reached the bottom, Kitsune was startled. There was no car. An eyebrow was raised.

"No car?"

"No need."

"No need?"

"No need."

"Why?"

"Exercise. I needed it because I get very unhealthy without exercise. Plus, I need to keep my perfect body in shape."

Kitsune rolled her eyes and followed him, as he turned left. "Where are we going?"

"To a nice place. I know you'll love it."

"What is it?" She asked adamantly.

"A very nice place." He replied, just as adamantly.

"Kentaro! C'mon!" He sighed and looked at her hopelessly.

"It's a bar, Kitsune." 

Kitsune froze.

"A bar?" He stopped and turned to look at her. He nodded.

"Is there something wrong with that? I can change the place to go if you want me to."

Kitsune felt sick.

This was the choice.

This was the choice that would decide her life for her.

She could be strong and say no to her addiction.

Or she could be weak and comply with his choice of the bar.

Alcohol.

Life.

Sustenance for the longest time for her.

Kitsune jumped when she felt pressure applied to her shoulder. It was Kentaro.

"Are you okay?"

Kitsune nodded and opened her mouth to speak. She'd made her decision.

"Sorry…but…um…could we…uh…get going?" At that, Kitsune shut her eyes. She'd said it. 

"To the bar?" She nodded, hesitantly at first, but then with greater resolution.

"You're sure?"

"Of course I am!" She said with a smile. "Just some momentary giddiness. Haven't been to a good bar in a long time."

He gave a small chuckle and they were on their way.

.~.

The bar was about two miles away from the Hinata Inn, giving them a good workout for their soon-to-be drinking binge.

When they arrived, they were let in ceremoniously to a dimly lit bar with many people filtering in and out. It was still pretty early and the people who were to stay late were just arriving, ordering dinner for themselves before they began.

"This place serves dinner?" Kitsune was amazed. Not many of the rundown places she used to go to did that.

"Yeah." Kentaro airily replied. "It's a fancy, up town place. However, it's still pretty casual. You can come here in jeans and a shirt and fit in. It gets real loud around this time. It's when the drunks like us come in. Let's go sit over there, in the corner." He pointed out the table and they made their way over to it.

The two weaved their way in and out of the myriad of tables and ended up at theirs, which was neatly hidden in a little alcove with a few other tables.

They seated themselves down and picked up the menu. Soon, the steaming hot food was brought to them. It wasn't the best food, considering it was mainly a bar but it was passable.

During their dinner a comfortable conversation had ensued about various topics.

"What do you think about the food?" Kentaro had begun.

"Eh. Can't complain."

"I haven't seen you in the longest time. How've you been?"

Kitsune contemplated that question. To tell the truth or not to.

"I'm fine. Just a few health problems here and there."

"Health problems? Like what?"

'Crap.' Kitsune thought. She mentally kicked herself.

"Just a few problems. Small." She held two fingers close together for emphasis.

"Oh." He nodded and continued on with his meal. Kitsune stared at him for a few seconds before resuming hers. 

She wanted to enjoy her life. A small drink or two wouldn't hurt her liver that bad. Plus, her cirrhosis wasn't that developed yet.

As the plates were taken away, a gleam came into Kentaro's eyes.

"What do you want to drink?" He asked.

"You order." She replied.

"Okay." When the waiter came, he bent him over and whispered in his ear. The waiter nodded and left. Two minutes later, he was back with two glasses of…milk.

As he set it before her, Kitsune could only help but stare in disbelief. She looked back up at Kentaro who looked very happy with his beverage.

"I've always wanted to try one of these." He said. With that said, he picked up the glass and down a series of gulps.

"You've always wanted to drink _milk_?!" Kitsune whispered harshly.

"Milk?" Kentaro looked down at his glass filled with the substance. "Oh!" He laughed.

"This isn't milk only!" Kitsune looked down at her glass.

"Really?"

"It's a Rose Red! Just try it."

Tentatively, Kitsune picked up the glass and brought it to her lips. Her hand was trembling. 

Not out of excitement. Out of fear.

She took one sip and swallowed. A sudden rush hit her. She'd just taken a sip of alcohol. Her body was home. After days of withdrawal from her love potion, she was home.

"It's really good!" She said, after a few more small sips. "What's in it?"

"Most of it is vodka and tequila. The other part is milk."

Kitsune raised both eyebrows in surprise.

"Wow! Can I have another?"

Kentaro just smiled.

.~.

It was around five hours later as well as many more drinks later. 

In the middle of her drinking spree, Kitsune had felt a small amount of pain under her right breast. However, she ignored it.

Why?

She was drunk.

Kitsune had passed ten drinks long ago. Maybe even the big two-oh had been passed. Neither of the two occupants knew. They were too drunk to notice.

As they finished up their latest drink, Kitsune laughed aimlessly at the drunken way with which Kentaro raised his arm.

She'd been laughing at him like this the whole night. He'd been making a fool of himself the whole night.

This time, something went wrong.

As Kitsune laughed, she felt a sharp pain hit her where her liver is located. Immediately, she doubled over in pain. The lost feeling when the euphoric phase of drunken behavior takes over was lost.

All was concentrated on the pain. She clutched her stomach and stood up clumsily, knocking over the chair. The pain was too much.

She began to cough violently, her hand coming down upon the table with such force that the remaining glasses went splaying all over the bar, breaking with timed precision.

Kentaro had now taken notice of her and began to laugh. He thought she was joking.

Kitsune wasn't. She tried to run for the bathroom, but the room was spinning with such ferocity that she didn't know which way it was.

Other drunks in the room stared at her and joined with Kentaro in laughing. The bartender and waiters were a different case.

They knew something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

All of them rushed to help Kitsune but she was out of control, stumbling and coughing in every which way, grabbing chairs, hair, clothes, whatever would help keep her balance.

She fell to the floor and heaved herself up onto her knees, crawling with one hand so as to use the other while she coughed.

Tears were rushing out of her eyes as if a dam had been broken. Her cough continued to come, never ceasing, hacking at her throat and on her distraught nerves. 

Once she made it outside, Kitsune sucked in the cold night air, trying to welcome it to her tired lungs and throat. There was no such luck as the breath was stalled in the middle and the hacking continued.

The coughing had Kitsune rolling on the floor until one of the waiters picked her up and held her against him as they sat squatting on the floor. The coughing continued even as it hit its climax.

Kitsune managed to take a deep breath only to cough more and more, the cycle never ceasing, not even after her coughing got so bad that something had to come out.

Blood.

The scarlet liquid exploded out of her petite body onto the waiter's pristine white uniform and Kitsune's pale trembling hand. She was stained. Forever.

The blood continued to rise, never halting in its course to exit Kitsune's body.

By now the ambulance had arrived, heaving Kitsune onto the rolling bed and into the ambulance. She was on her was to the hospital emergency room.

.~.

Wow. You people really don't like Kentaro, huh? Well thank you for all the great reviews that I received! I love every single one of them! That last chapter got the most out of any before! Thank you guys so much! Also, sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I've been real busy with my work at school. That comes first.

Here go the replies to your awesome reviews!!

**dennisud**- Thank you for the compliments. You never know about the liver transplant thing. I think it's a pretty good idea. What do you say to two endings, one good, one bad?

**The Epyon Avenger**-Of course I'd recognize you! It makes me happy! And I thought it'd make you happy so why not. Thank you for saying all those nice compliments!! You think I'm a detailed writer? Wow. I've been trying hard at that and I'm glad it worked. The title was probably hardest to come up with because I needed something like a metaphor to go with this fic. Thank you!

**mr-winkie**- You're very good at predicting stuff. This fic is going to close soon but I am thinking of multiple endings. I really don't know yet though. In the last chapter, I thought Kitsune was kind of off center. But thank you anyways!

**Kai5**- Thank you! You're so nice! I was practically blushing when I read your review! I'm glad you agree with my interpretation of Kitsune's time crawling by thing. I thought it was appropriate. As for Kentaro, he's not in the manga but I've read of him on sites so I decided I didn't want to make up my own character. So I used him. I've had to research him a bit but no sweat.

**Mantis Man**-Yay!! You didn't miss that many updates. Only around two…I think… ^.^; I liked my drama too! I sound so conceited sometimes. Sorry…People really don't like Kentaro. I was almost disappointed.

**Book of Doom**-Hola! You're the only one that cleared up the Cherry Blossom Festival. Thank you so much! You're so smart about all of this. If there are any mistakes in my fic, could you please pick them out? You seem to know the most about Love Hina. Thank you so much!!

**Dark-Hand**-You're the only person that outright said you liked Kentaro. Thank you so much. I was so worried about who I chose that I almost thought it was a bad choice with my last two reviewers. But then I read yours. Big smile from me!! I am thinking about multiple endings. I've asked some other people so we'll see what they say.

**Hyper-Sloth-**Love your name!! It's such an oxymoron!! Love it!! Thank you so much for the compliment! I really appreciate it!!

**Lynx Traveller**-Wow. Your ex must have made some bad decisions. I'm so surprised you came and actually read this! I wasn't expecting you to come! I thought you BS6 fic was great! Hmm..Some of my favorite animes, which I'm into reading right now, are Cowboy Bebop, Rurouni Kenshin, Inuyasha and Yu Yu Hakusho. I think I would like Cowboy Bebop the most because even for professional writers, it would be hard to write on such a perfect anime. It's got everything. If you do decide to do it, let me know and I'll read…defiantly!!

**Mozzarella**-I'm sorry you don't like the idea of Kitsune dying. But I am thinking of making a double ending to this. What do you think? And I'm sorry you don't like Kentaro. I've never seen the anime so I wouldn't know but I didn't want to create my own characters. Thank you for the awesome review though!!

**velocet**- ::sniffs:: You're disappointed? Sorry. But I didn't want to make up another character for just a short while. I'm sorry you were disappointed but that was the best I could do. Once again, I'm real sorry.


	11. Drowning

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Drown

*Angst Ending- These last two chapters have been redone!

The bed on which Kitsune lay was comfortable. She was aware of that and couldn't help but feel happy about it. There was more to it however.

The guilt.

It was coursing through her veins with the vivacity of a flower in its youth. She was guilty, she was dying and it was all her fault.

A few uncalled for tears made their way down her cheeks. The grooves were being used again. She sniffed as those paramedics around her hurriedly tried to control her coughing fits, internal bleeding and tears. Whispers of encouragement were given to her but Kitsune didn't hear them.

She heard congratulations. "Congratulations, Kitsune! You've gone and done a Grade A job of trying to kill yourself! No wait! You have killed yourself!"

It wasn't that easy, accepting the fact that this predicament was all her fault. If she had said yes to Kentaro's offer to go somewhere else, she wouldn't be here in a hospital bed. She wouldn't be absolutely still because of the pain that concentrated around her throat and liver. She wouldn't have blood lining her lips, or splayed over her hands or clothes. In fact, she would have clean clothes.

And she wouldn't feel as guilty.

Off to the side, Kitsune heard a pop. She looked over and saw a nurse shuffling through her purse, looking for identification. The paramedic found her work card and looked over it, taking in Kitsune's home phone number.

She reached for the phone set up in the ambulance and dialed. Kitsune waited expectedly. The pressure on Kitsune became enormous. How would the family react to this? 

Shinobu, to whom she promised she'd abstain from alcohol, had just sent her off. 

She had just sent off her biological family, to whom she'd promised she'd be safe.

Not any more.

The paramedic said a few words that were garbled to Kitsune. She couldn't make anything out. Nothing. Kitsune turned her head away from the female paramedic who was informing everyone. She didn't want another stranger disappointed in her.

As she was heaved up by the waiter in front of the eyes of many, Kitsune felt one thing from them. Disappointment. They knew that she had brought this upon herself. They didn't know her but they knew. And that knowledge was already available to Kitsune. The knowledge that if she went overboard, something drastic would happen to her. She would die.

That feeling probably got her most. She might die.

The fact that Kitsune would never see the family she had made at Hinata grow up, get on with their lives, have children and experience whatever life throws at you; never see Naru and Keitaro join in holy matrimony, overcoming the obstacles in their relationship that face them now; never the bride, always the bridesmaid.

The fact that she had wasted the time of many important individuals so that they could come and look after her for nothing; they had wasted time that could have been more wisely spent with family and with those that probably meant more.

The fact that all this might be blamed on a friend who only needed company on a day to celebrate but now it was her fault that he would be questioned by the police and his valuable friendship lost; this was no time to celebrate anymore because of her foolish mistake.

The fact that she broke a promise to one of the purest people ever to touch their feet onto the sacred ground of Earth, now and forever, all because of the temptation to seek something she had lost and never retrieved in the months preceding this.

The fact that Konno Mitsune, a woman of her own repute and intelligence had fallen into the clenching fingers of a vile liquid which would claw at her conscience because it wasn't in her body; making her become a slave to its order and in the end, succumb, only to prepare for an early appointment with Death.

The fact that…she was going to die…

.~.

Soon, Kitsune was wheeled into the doors of the hospital. As she lay on the bed, Kitsune couldn't help but count the large rectangular fluorescent lights that were lit overhead. It was like counting down the minutes, hours left in her life, just in reverse. It felt good when she hit thirty. At least she'd live for about another half hour.

But when Kitsune saw that she was being wheeled into intensive care, she flinched and waded through depression once again. Once again, she thought how this was all her fault. How that now that all their frolicking and fun was done, the whole Hinata crew had to shift their base over here to look after their new resident grave for a short while. It was all so depressing for Kitsune.

The doctors soon finished examining, poking and prodding Kitsune. None of the processes reached her brain. She was too deep in thought and wasn't responding to her situations. It was like a coma…but with your eyes open.

Kitsune was hooked up to a respirator and from there she was allowed to rest. The results of her examination had not been told to her. But Kitsune didn't care. What was it to her anyways? She was going to die so there was no need for her to know what was going on around her. No need at all.

With that thought and done, Kitsune lapsed into a light sleep. It would soon be interrupted but while it lasted, it did her befuddled mood good.

The Hinata crew arrived with the hustle and bustle of a regular large family. Upon entering Kitsune's room, there were bursts of emotion that had been censored. Naru rushed forward, as did Keitaro, but only to stop Naru.

Shinobu stood near Motoko, tears in her eyes. The dilapidated state that Kitsune was in wasn't normal. She was supposed to smile and laugh! Jump up out of the bed and say, "Ha, I fooled you!" She wasn't supposed to be grounded and weak…or hooked up to a machine…No…

Motoko looked away to shield the tears in her eyes. They wouldn't be allowed to fall. When had she started caring for this drunkard anyways? 'The girl brought this upon herself.' She thought. But it couldn't be kept that way. Motoko finally let the tears fall down her porcelain cheeks. The girl may have been stupid but she was a friend and a good one at that.

Haruka looked over at Motoko as she begun to cry, covering her mouth. Haruka had let her tears fall long ago. She made no show of them. There was to be not show of emotion except for tears. Kitsune was like a sister Strong, tough and determined! 'What happened to you Kitsune? What happened?' 

Seta comforted those around him; doing the best he could to be strong. But it wasn't easy. He had known Kitsune for many years and felt for her. He loved her…like a younger sister. The emotion was too much. He let the stray tears fall down his tanned skin to meet the unforgiving ground below, where they shattered like glass. She couldn't go.

Both Su and Sarah stood there. They couldn't have a real reaction. They had never really interacted with the older female. However, the emotional wall that enclosed them brought out unknown emotions. Emotions of fear and regret. They were afraid of life without Kitsune. What would it be like? Who would encourage their pranks? Who would laugh at them when no on else did? And regret. Why didn't we entertain her more often? Why didn't we find out what she liked and go from there? Why does she have to die? Death was new to the girls…it was haunting and it couldn't happen to someone they knew.

Keitaro stood nearby Kitsune, holding a sobbing Naru. His eyes were trained on Kitsune who, to him, was a friend, a confidant…almost a mother. To him, he found that she had taught him almost everything he needed to know about the outside world. She showed him broken hearts, accepting Naru and being forward. She taught him persistence and courage to say what you feel you should say. She was a character…

Naru continued to sob on Keitaro's shoulder without halting. What was the use of halting? She would lose a best friend and sister if she did. That couldn't happen. Kitsune made her realize her love for Keitaro and the joys of life. Kitsune also helped her throughout high school…she protected Naru. For that, Naru would be eternally grateful. Eternally.

The swirling vortex of emotions was paused for a bit as a cell phone went off. Seta reached down into his pocket and retrieved it. He looked up and left the room to take the call.

All was silent, except for the continuous beep of the heart rate monitor and Naru's sobs. There was no effort made to go near Kitsune. They were all afraid. However, Kitsune wasn't. She needed to get a few things off her chest.

Slowly, she brought up her hand, one finger raised. Immediately, most of the group was at her side. She pointed to her respirator.

"Take it off?" Sarah questioned. Kitsune made a feeble thumbs-up sign.

"Let's as-ask the doctor fir-first oka-ay?" Naru managed. Kitsune gave yet another thumbs-up sign. Motoko and Shinobu were immediately dispatched to find the doctor. A few minutes after they left, Seta stepped back inside to have a word with Keitaro. He whispered a few words, and once Keitaro nodded, left. Su and Sarah followed him. This bombardment of emotion was too much for their young minds.

Dr. Kaji soon appeared and assessed the situation. She checked the heart rate monitor and other machines stationed in the room. With one final twist of a button she stood up and smiled.

"Kitsune, you can take off your mask, but not for long. If you do, you'll suffer a lack of oxygen in the brain." Dr. Kaji said softly. With that, she left the room. Kitsune slowly brought herself up, grinding her teeth together at the pain in such a simple task. Once she achieved her seated position, she removed the mask.

"I-I want to ap-apologiz-ze to you all. I'm-m so sorry for the troub-ble I caused."

"What trouble, Kits-" Kitsune brought up a hand, halting Naru in her tirade. Motoko came and placed a hand on Naru's shoulder.

"Just let her finish." Kitsune took a deep breath so she could speak.

"I-t's not Kent-ntaro's fault. All mine-" Kitsune couldn't continue. After relying on the respirator for keeping her coughing fits down, she needed the respirator to keep that up. Kitsune quickly scrambled for the mask and placed it over her mouth and nose. She took a deep breath and slowly lay down. She was exhausted.

Kitsune was soon asleep, the respirator mask being placed properly on her by Naru. Everyone gradually drifted away from the bad, finding their own resting places. However, a half hour after Kitsune fell asleep, Dr. Kaji came in. Everyone was immediately alert.

"Hello all. I have something to speak to you about." 

"What is it? Does it have to do with Kitsune?" Naru asked urgently.

"Yes. It seems as though part of her liver has ruptured. She'll need a liver transplant. Does anybody here have the blood type AB?" Shinobu raised her hand slowly. Dr. Kaji looked her over. A sad smile formed.

"I'm sorry but you're too young. You're not Kitsune's immediate family, are you?" Shinobu shook her head.

"Well then, we can wait for her family to arrive but they'll have to come quickly. Her liver isn't working well at all. She'll be undergoing dialysis but she's losing a lot of blood from the rupture." Everyone nodded.

"You should all go home now." Another nod. Dr. Kaji left and soon, so did the Hinata crew.

.~.

The next day, Kitsune groggily awoke. 'I hate this.' She reflected. Once again she was depressed and her only friend right now was the beep of the heart monitor and her own pulse. Not very comforting.

Kitsune tried to lift herself up. It wasn't working. The pain shot through her and she jolted, causing even more pain. She was hurting. Kitsune laid herself back down and was about to close her eyes to sleep when in filtered friends and family. The real family.

Not everyone was there. Just her mother and brothers but that was enough for her. However, as she surveyed her brothers' faces as her mother fretted over her, she detected a small amount of disappointment. Her heart sunk.

She'd failed everyone and therefore hurt them. Why?! Why did she do this? Did she want to kill her mother from the stress and physical strain? Kitsune turned her head away from her mother and began to weep silently. Why couldn't she just die already? Why?

Kitsune's mother took her hand and smoothed it over Kitsune's forehead, crooning to her youngest child.

"You don't have to cry anymore. You poor thing. We found out that Seiji has your same blood type. He's going to give part of his liver to you." Kitsune turned her head to face her brothers all of whom were crying now. She managed a small smile, directed at Seiji. To all of them, she tried with her eyes, to apologize. It seemed to work.

A few hours passed like this. Everyone present was speaking to Kitsune. She was trying to stay awake but the strain on her fragile body was too much. Her eyes were about to shut when she heard a new voice enter the haze of voices around her. Lethargically, Kitsune opened her eyes to see the doctor speaking to Seiji. He was escorted out of the room.

With her remaining strength, Kitsune figured that he was going to go donate part of his liver to her now. She couldn't help a few tears before she fell into a light slumber.

.~.

Kitsune awoke in what seemed like minutes later. She opened her eyes to find herself once again looking at the flashing fluorescent lights above her head. She closed her eyes again. There was no need for the surgeon next to her to speak about the procedure she was about to undergo. She knew that it was to be painful. She didn't like pain.

_Why couldn't it just end?_

Kitsune felt the bed stop, and her senses were immediately invaded by the sterile smell of chemical cleaners. However, all that soon left her mind once she felt a gentle prick on her upper arm. Looking out of the side of her eye, Kitsune could make out an IV needle being inserted. 'No worries.' She figured. 'I'm going to die anyways.'

The anesthesia was soon administered to Kitsune. For her, the duration of the operation was black.

.~. 

_Pain._

_It hurts._

_Why?_

Kitsune awoke slowly to her confusing surroundings. Her liver area was sore and she could feel the throbbing of her blood as it made its way through that area. Kitsune also became aware of the endless amount of wires that seemed to be stuck everywhere. All around her body, on her stomach, arms, face, chest, everywhere.

Slowly, Kitsune turned her head towards the heart monitor. With heavy eyes, Kitsune watched the spiking movement of her heart pulse. Once or twice she thought there was too much of a wait between pulses. But she didn't care. She was useless now.

Kitsune stayed awake and was soon greeted by her family and friends. She could feel the pity oozing from their bodies. Why did they have to pity her? Kitsune could feel her resentment towards them. How dare they pity her!

On the other hand, the family and friends didn't pity Kitsune much. Naru and Kitsune's mother were just heartbroken that she had to lay in a hospital bed, so restricted and alone. Her brothers pitied her slightly. But it was her poor decisions they pitied. Had she not made them, she would not be here. Keitaro and the rest of the crew were just worried. She was apart of the Hinata family and no one could take her place. No one.

Kitsune missed her brother Seiji and figured he must be resting. Her mother reinforced that. Her mother also updated Kitsune on her present condition.

"Well, your brother is resting. The surgery did take a lot out of him. As for you…" There was an ominous silence. Kitsune's mother wiped away tears that had threatened to fall. She looked back up at the people behind her and then continued.

"…You aren't doing…so well. The surgeon said that the liver, Seiji's that is, wasn't accepted, as it should have been. It didn't turn the right color. It took a while for the blood to cl-clot. So you m-may…You may n-n-n-not l-l-live." Kitsune's mother burst into tears and the other females around her let their tears fall.

Except Kitsune. She just stared at them blandly, without feeling. She didn't care if she died. Apparently they did. Kitsune blinked unhurriedly a few times before closing her eyes for rest. She was very sleepy.

All the others soon took noticed. Everyone left, leaving the gently sleeping Kitsune alone. It was unspoken for them, a taboo. No one wanted to say it and no one would. They were trying their best, but it was obvious and everyone knew.

_Kitsune didn't want to live anymore._

Quietly, they all slipped out of the hospital, weighed down by their depressing thoughts. It wasn't fun, having that thought. It was almost like a blow to their pride and self-esteem. The person, who lived life and wanted to live it to its fullest, didn't anymore. It was hurtful.

Kitsune awoke later that night, being as uncomfortable as she was. That cycle would continue for the rest of her days.

.~.

Kitsune awoke later that month, her body and senses completely alert. She felt cold and she could feel the light layer of sweat coating her body. Her head was also throbbing. Kitsune was about to toss around when she felt a stab of pain in her liver as she tried to move. She immediately froze. Her heart began to beat irregularly, causing the heart monitor to send up an alarm. Immediately, nurses and doctors came running in, checking her vitals and temperature. It wasn't normal. Her temperature had reached 101. 

"Her liver is being rejected!" Doctors and nurses immediately began to scurry around trying to figure out how to classify her rejection.

"It's acute rejection!" yelled one of the doctors. "Get me some more liquid immunosuppressants or steroids! High doses!" Nurses ran out of the room, trying to find some.

"I've got them! Immunosuppressants!"

"Put it into a syringe! We're going to have to inject it!"

"Quickly! She's going into shock!"

"Inject it! Now!"

The suppressant was injected into Kitsune, but nothing happened; her heartbeat increased its irregular path of beating, being pushed to the limits that any heart could be pushed to, only to be stopped…stalled…halted…quieted…forever…

The doctors abandoned her for a few seconds before wheeling in the defibrillator. The doctor immediately got to work, trying to start up her heart again. Again. Again. Again. Once more. Just for good measure, another.  Sixth time's the charm.

Nothing.

She was dead.

"Who's going to call?" The head doctor whispered quietly. Everyone looked around until they all finally looked at Dr. Kaji, who stood near the door, eyes tearing up and beginning to sob.

"I'll do it-t." She managed.

The call wasn't easy. It was very late at night and Keitaro answered the phone. He took the news quietly, but the doctor could sense the underlying anguish in his voice. He quietly thanked her and hung up. Softly, Keitaro let the tears fall. He brought his hands to his eyes, sat down, and sobbed like a small child.

.~.

Keitaro had gone and woken everyone up, even Kitsune's own family. His eyes were still red from crying but not much could be told by the dim lighting in which they sat.

"What's going on Keitaro? Why did you call us all down here? It's real late too." Naru asked.

"I…I-uh-just got...this…ahem…call…"

"Really? Where from?" Kitsune's mother asked. She was trying to humor the poor boy.

"The hospital." He whispered.

A hush fell over the group. Kitsune's mother clenched her oldest son's hand and looked towards her younger two. The others in the group froze and straightened up. Something had to have had gone wrong.

"It's Kitsune. She's…ah…de-...de-dead…" 

Silence. Then slowly, tears came down, dreams shattered as did the hope. The tiny ray of hope that everyone had hung onto while they had gone to visit Kitsune in the hospital. But now, it was gone…for good…

Kitsune's mother and the rest of the females slowly retreated to their rooms. The males sat for a bit, relishing fond memories of the lost fox in their minds eye. After a bit, they too retreated.

.~.

It was a beautiful day, with an azure sky dotted with clod oyster clouds. The effect of the slight breeze on the stately trees was much appreciated. It helped brighten the frightful day. The day of her cremation.

In following with the Shinto religion by which the Konno family followed, Kitsune was cremated. Her bones were carefully extracted from the ashes with chopsticks. The rituals of the funeral pyre were followed. For everyone present, it was a quick day. The whole Konno family was there, including Kitsune's young nieces and nephews.

The ashes were soon picked up in a golden urn and buried. The tears now fell. Here they were, saying goodbye to a life-long friend, love and companion. The leaving of the Konno family followed the funeral. Enough time had been spent in Hinata. They needed to distance themselves, even if it meant leaving their good friends.

Good shares of tears were dropped, but life must go on and the family soon left.

.~.

Naru stopped in front of Kitsune's room, a good few months after her cremation. After her passing, they never spoke of the fox, scared of what the consequences of the speaking may do. She had to be revered, they figured. Not speaking about her was the only way to do so.

Nothing had been moved or touched in there. Looking around, Naru slowly made her way inside. There she began to sort through her old friends' belongings, sobbing as she found something of ritualistic importance or just a small memento of her legacy.

Shinobu, who had come to ask Naru for help, soon joined her. Naru had turned on the shamisen music long ago and Shinobu now came and sat next to Naru, bathing in the sweet sound of the music.

That very music loved by Kitsune attracted the rest of the crew to the center of Kitsune's life. There they all congregated, becoming in tune with the reminiscing mood that Naru was in, and joined her.

Laughter was shared, at the antics with which Kitsune would torment Naru and Keitaro with, or the way she would get drunk right before going to the temple. It was all quite amusing.

In the end of all of this, the group realized one thing. Memories were meant to be shared, not hidden. Especially if the memories had to do with someone you loved. And here, the group finally discovered that not speaking about was ignoring her. They weren't revering her, as they had originally planned. They were trying to forget her. But that couldn't be allowed.

No one could forget the fox.

.~.

Wait…are you serious? Ten pages?? You people better like this one! I tried to pack it full of emotion but we'll see…I liked this ending. I'm not changing it. Special thanks to **Mantis Man** because without him, this would have remained a one-shot! Thanks so much!

Reviews:

**mr-winkie-** I redid it. Hope you liked. I thought the other endings were abrupt too. So here you are.

**velocet**-Thanks for taking off your gloves. It helped with the rewrites. I think these were better. Longer and I actually researched all of it. However, it felt like there were like…what…three chapters in one? Oh well. You all can just deal with it.

**Kai5-**No problem! It doesn't matter if you review or not. I just hope you're feeling okay and that you enjoy the story. I did a rewrite. The angst is what I originally had in mind but so many people want her to live. It was kind of disappointing but hey…what can you say?

**dennisud-** Here's the kind of epilogue thingie. I ended it with the reactions seen at the end. I didn't place the family's reaction because it would be odd to shift from Hinata to Kobe in one little swipe.

**Gotenks01013-**Hehe..You're good with confusing me. But I thin I got it. You were referring to the multiple endings, right? I took your transplant thing to heart because it worked. I was strapped for ideas and yours was just awesome!

**Mantis Man-** Glad you thought so! Did you notice how we're running out of things to talk about? Yup…we have…But once you get started on Cowboy Bebop * hint hint *, then we'll have stuff to talk about. That show is really philosophical. Oh and thanks to you, this story became what it did! You gave me the drive! Thanks so much!

**Mozzarella-** I like the cheese too! Tastes real good on pizza! Thank you for reading! I hope you continue to leave your awesome reviews!

**The Claire Bible**-I actually did most of this rewrite off of your review. Thank you so much! Without you, this probably wouldn't have been possible…You hit home with the masking of the emotions. That was what was missing and only you realized that. Thank you!

**jennyjennai-**Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked what you read so far!

**red52-** You made me blush! Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed the rewrites!


	12. Floating

Disclaimer: Not mine

Drown

*Happy Ending-These last two chapters have been redone.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you read the previous chapter, you can go down to the fourth little '.~.' thing.

The bed on which Kitsune lay was comfortable. She was aware of that and couldn't help but feel happy about it. There was more to it however.

The guilt.

It was coursing through her veins with the vivacity of a flower in its youth. She was guilty, she was dying and it was all her fault.

A few uncalled for tears made their way down her cheeks. The grooves were being used again. She sniffed as those paramedics around her hurriedly tried to control her coughing fits, internal bleeding and tears. Whispers of encouragement were given to her but Kitsune didn't hear them.

She heard congratulations. "Congratulations, Kitsune! You've gone and done a Grade A job of trying to kill yourself! No wait! You have killed yourself!"

It wasn't that easy, accepting the fact that this predicament was all her fault. If she had said yes to Kentaro's offer to go somewhere else, she wouldn't be here in a hospital bed. She wouldn't be absolutely still because of the pain that concentrated around her throat and liver. She wouldn't have blood lining her lips, or splayed over her hands or clothes. In fact, she would have clean clothes.

And she wouldn't feel as guilty.

Off to the side, Kitsune heard a pop. She looked over and saw a nurse shuffling through her purse, looking for identification. The paramedic found her work card and looked over it, taking in Kitsune's home phone number.

She reached for the phone set up in the ambulance and dialed. Kitsune waited expectedly. The pressure on Kitsune became enormous. How would the family react to this? 

Shinobu, to whom she promised she'd abstain from alcohol, had just sent her off. 

She had just sent off her biological family, to whom she'd promised she'd be safe.

Not any more.

The paramedic said a few words that were garbled to Kitsune. She couldn't make anything out. Nothing. Kitsune turned her head away from the female paramedic who was informing everyone. She didn't want another stranger disappointed in her.

As she was heaved up by the waiter in front of the eyes of many, Kitsune felt one thing from them. Disappointment. They knew that she had brought this upon herself. They didn't know her but they knew. And that knowledge was already available to Kitsune. The knowledge that if she went overboard, something drastic would happen to her. She would die.

That feeling probably got her most. She might die.

The fact that Kitsune would never see the family she had made at Hinata grow up, get on with their lives, have children and experience whatever life throws at you; never see Naru and Keitaro join in holy matrimony, overcoming the obstacles in their relationship that face them now; never the bride, always the bridesmaid.

The fact that she had wasted the time of many important individuals so that they could come and look after her for nothing; they had wasted time that could have been more wisely spent with family and with those that probably meant more.

The fact that all this might be blamed on a friend who only needed company on a day to celebrate but now it was her fault that he would be questioned by the police and his valuable friendship lost; this was no time to celebrate anymore because of her foolish mistake.

The fact that she broke a promise to one of the purest people ever to touch their feet onto the sacred ground of Earth, now and forever, all because of the temptation to seek something she had lost and never retrieved in the months preceding this.

The fact that Konno Mitsune, a woman of her own repute and intelligence had fallen into the clenching fingers of a vile liquid which would claw at her conscience because it wasn't in her body; making her become a slave to its order and in the end, succumb, only to prepare for an early appointment with Death.

The fact that…she was going to die…

.~.

Soon, Kitsune was wheeled into the doors of the hospital. As she lay on the bed, Kitsune couldn't help but count the large rectangular fluorescent lights that were lit overhead. It was like counting down the minutes, hours left in her life, just in reverse. It felt good when she hit thirty. At least she'd live for about another half hour.

But when Kitsune saw that she was being wheeled into intensive care, she flinched and waded through depression once again. Once again, she thought how this was all her fault. How that all their frolicking and fun was done now so the whole Hinata crew had to shift their base over here to look after their new resident grave for a short while. It was all so depressing for Kitsune.

The doctors soon finished examining, poking and prodding Kitsune. None of the processes reached her brain. She was too deep in thought and wasn't responding to her situations. It was like a coma…but with your eyes open.

Kitsune was hooked up to a respirator and from there she was allowed to rest. The results of her examination had not been told to her. But Kitsune didn't care. What was it to her anyways? She was going to die so there was no need for her to know what was going on around her. No need at all.

With that thought and done, Kitsune lapsed into a light sleep. It would soon be interrupted but while it lasted, it did her befuddled mood good.

The Hinata crew arrived with the hustle and bustle of a regular large family. Upon entering Kitsune's room, there were bursts of emotion that had been censored. Naru rushed forward, as did Keitaro, but only to stop Naru.

Shinobu stood near Motoko, tears in her eyes. The dilapidated state that Kitsune was in wasn't normal. She was supposed to smile and laugh! Jump up out of the bed and say, "Ha, I fooled you!" She wasn't supposed to be grounded and weak…or hooked up to a machine…No…

Motoko looked away to shield the tears in her eyes. They wouldn't be allowed to fall. When had she started caring for this drunkard anyways? 'The girl brought this upon herself.' She thought. But it couldn't be kept that way. Motoko finally let the tears fall down her porcelain cheeks. The girl may have been stupid but she was a friend and a good one at that.

Haruka looked over at Motoko as she begun to cry, covering her mouth. Haruka had let her tears fall long ago. She made no show of them. There was to be not show of emotion except for tears. Kitsune was like a sister Strong, tough and determined! 'What happened to you Kitsune? What happened?' 

Seta comforted those around him; doing the best he could to be strong. But it wasn't easy. He had known Kitsune for many years and felt for her. He loved her…like a younger sister. The emotion was too much. He let the stray tears fall down his tanned skin to meet the unforgiving ground below, where they shattered like glass. She couldn't go.

Both Su and Sarah stood there. They couldn't have a real reaction. They had never really interacted with the older female. However, the emotional wall that enclosed them brought out unknown emotions. Emotions of fear and regret. They were afraid of life without Kitsune. What would it be like? Who would encourage their pranks? Who would laugh at them when no on else did? And regret. Why didn't we entertain her more often? Why didn't we find out what she liked and go from there? Why does she have to die? Death was new to the girls…it was haunting and it couldn't happen to someone they knew.

Keitaro stood nearby Kitsune, holding a sobbing Naru. His eyes were trained on Kitsune who, to him, was a friend, a confidant…almost a mother. To him, he found that she had taught him almost everything he needed to know about the outside world. She showed him broken hearts, accepting Naru and being forward. She taught him persistence and courage to say what you feel you should say. She was a character…

Naru continued to sob on Keitaro's shoulder without halting. What was the use of halting? She would lose a best friend and sister if she did. That couldn't happen. Kitsune made her realize her love for Keitaro and the joys of life. Kitsune also helped her throughout high school…she protected Naru. For that, Naru would be eternally grateful. Eternally.

The swirling vortex of emotions was paused for a bit as a cell phone went off. Seta reached down into his pocket and retrieved it. He looked up and left the room to take the call.

All was silent, except for the continuous beep of the heart rate monitor and Naru's sobs. There was no effort made to go near Kitsune. They were all afraid. However, Kitsune wasn't. She needed to get a few things off her chest.

Slowly, she brought up her hand, one finger raised. Immediately, most of the group was at her side. She pointed to her respirator.

"Take it off?" Sarah questioned. Kitsune made a feeble thumbs-up sign.

"Let's as-ask the doctor fir-first oka-ay?" Naru managed. Kitsune gave yet another thumbs-up sign. Motoko and Shinobu were immediately dispatched to find the doctor. A few minutes after they left, Seta stepped back inside to have a word with Keitaro. He whispered a few words, and once Keitaro nodded, left. Su and Sarah followed him. This bombardment of emotion was too much for their young minds.

Dr. Kaji soon appeared and assessed the situation. She checked the heart rate monitor and other machines stationed in the room. With one final twist of a button she stood up and smiled.

"Kitsune, you can take off your mask, but not for long. If you do, you'll suffer a lack of oxygen in the brain." Dr. Kaji said softly. With that, she left the room. Kitsune slowly brought herself up, grinding her teeth together at the pain in such a simple task. Once she achieved her seated position, she removed the mask.

"I-I want to ap-apologiz-ze to you all. I'm-m so sorry for the troub-ble I caused."

"What trouble, Kits-" Kitsune brought up a hand, halting Naru in her tirade. Motoko came and placed a hand on Naru's shoulder.

"Just let her finish." Kitsune took a deep breath so she could speak.

"I-t's not Kent-ntaro's fault. All mine-" Kitsune couldn't continue. After relying on the respirator for keeping her coughing fits down, she needed the respirator to keep that up. Kitsune quickly scrambled for the mask and placed it over her mouth and nose. She took a deep breath and slowly lay down. She was exhausted.

Kitsune was soon asleep, the respirator mask being placed properly on her by Naru. Everyone gradually drifted away from the bad, finding their own resting places. However, a half hour after Kitsune fell asleep, Dr. Kaji came in. Everyone was immediately alert.

"Hello all. I have something to speak to you about." 

"What is it? Does it have to do with Kitsune?" Naru asked urgently.

"Yes. It seems as though part of her liver has ruptured. She'll need a liver transplant. Does anybody here have the blood type AB?" Shinobu raised her hand slowly. Dr. Kaji looked her over. A sad smile formed.

"I'm sorry but you're too young. You're not Kitsune's immediate family, are you?" Shinobu shook her head.

"Well then, we can wait for her family to arrive but they'll have to come quickly. Her liver isn't working well at all. She'll be undergoing dialysis but she's losing a lot of blood from the rupture." Everyone nodded.

"You should all go home now." Another nod. Dr. Kaji left and soon, so did the Hinata crew.

.~.

The next day, Kitsune groggily awoke. 'I hate this.' She reflected. Once again she was depressed and her only friend right now was the beep of the heart monitor and her own pulse. Not very comforting.

Kitsune tried to lift herself up. It wasn't working. The pain shot through her and she jolted, causing even more pain. She was hurting. Kitsune laid herself back down and was about to close her eyes to sleep when in filtered friends and family. The real family.

Not everyone was there. Just her mother and brothers but that was enough for her. However, as she surveyed her brothers' faces as her mother fretted over her, she detected a small amount of disappointment. Her heart sunk.

She'd failed everyone and therefore hurt them. Why?! Why did she do this? Did she want to kill her mother from the stress and physical strain? Kitsune turned her head away from her mother and began to weep silently. Why couldn't she just die already? Why?

Kitsune's mother took her hand and smoothed it over Kitsune's forehead, crooning to her youngest child.

"You don't have to cry anymore. You poor thing. We found out that Seiji has your same blood type. He's going to give part of his liver to you." Kitsune turned her head to face her brothers all of whom were crying now. She managed a small smile, directed at Seiji. To all of them, she tried with her eyes, to apologize. It seemed to work.

A few hours passed like this. Everyone present was speaking to Kitsune. She was trying to stay awake but the strain on her fragile body was too much. Her eyes were about to shut when she heard a new voice enter the haze of voices around her. Lethargically, Kitsune opened her eyes to see the doctor speaking to Seiji. He was escorted out of the room.

With her remaining strength, Kitsune figured that he was going to go donate part of his liver to her now. She couldn't help a few tears before she fell into a light slumber.

.~.

Kitsune awoke in what seemed like minutes later. She opened her eyes to find herself once again looking at the flashing fluorescent lights above her head. She closed her eyes again. There was no need for the surgeon next to her to speak about the procedure she was about to undergo. She knew that it was to be painful. She didn't like pain.

_Why couldn't it just end?_

Kitsune felt the bed stop, and her senses were immediately invaded by the sterile smell of chemical cleaners. However, all that soon left her mind once she felt a gentle prick on her upper arm. Looking out of the side of her eye, Kitsune could make out an IV needle being inserted. 'No worries.' She figured. 'I'm going to die anyways.'

The anesthesia was soon administered to Kitsune. For her, the duration of the operation was black.

.~. 

Kitsune awoke later, feeling lethargic and tired. Her body wasn't sore at all, just tired from being…well…tired. She had a respirator over her mouth and a heart monitor hooked up to her again. The constant pulsing of the heart monitor was her only 'friend', so to speak because it was always there.

'No one loves me. Why should they love me? This whole situation is my fault.' Kitsune would have continued but the gang soon arrived. Kitsune's mother rushed forward, followed by Naru and Haruka.

"My little girl." Kitsune's mother said fondly, "You're doing so well. The doctor says that you have no complications. You can be out of here within a few weeks. But just in case, you'll be taking blood tests everyday. Okay?"

"Oh Kitsune! You're looking so much better! The doctor said you're doing fine! So you'll be out of here in no time! You won't believe what Keitaro did the other day! He was going to class…"

"Hey Kitsune. Nice to see you're doing so well. You don't look dead anymore. Cheer up you'll be out of here soon."

This was all too much for Kitsune. Her eyes widened for a short while before she gradually became used to all the speaking and voices. She then relaxed. It was good to be around all these people again. However, when she saw the fleetingly pale look of pity on her mother's face, Kitsune felt her spirits fall. They still hated her. How horrible.

The group soon left to visit Kitsune's brother in the hospital ward. Kitsune sighed and forced a smile through the respirator as they left. Once they were gone, Kitsune let her smile fall, as well as tears. Why was she like this?

.~.

The days with which Kitsune spent in the hospital were soon over. Both her and her brother were functioning perfectly, with no mishaps or incidents that would give the staff more reason to make them stay.

During the duration of her days at the hospital, Kitsune spent most of her time wallowing in self-pity and thoughts of sadness. She seemed to magnify the depressing and negative thoughts of her life rather than focus on the good thoughts, which could stimulate her more.

As she was leaving the hospital, she could see the doctor speaking with her mother. It was probably negative. Kitsune sighed deeply and moved on, placing a fake smile on her lips as she thanked those she passed. Once in the car, Kitsune let that façade fall and slumped over.

Her mother entered the car, looking over in her direction with increasing worry. Finally, Kitsune couldn't take it anymore.

"Mom? Is something wrong?" Kitsune's mother fiddled with a piece of paper in her hands while Seiji and Keitaro, who were both in the front seats, decided to listen in.

"Your doctor said…well…that you're mildly…depressed…" There was a silence through which both Seiji and Keitaro would look at the rearview mirror, at her.

 "I guess I am." Kitsune once again slumped over. 

"We have to send you for therapy." Kitsune's mother held up her hand as Kitsune began to protest. "No ifs, ands or buts about it. You need the therapy and you will go. I'm not having you be like a fly in my tea!"

"A fly in your tea, Mom?" Seiji questioned, his eyes twinkling.

"Yes. Those little pests are so annoying! Then I have to throw out the tea because the little flea made it disgusting and polluted it!" Kitsune looked at her tearfully. Is that what she was?

A fly?

"Mom! I thought you loved me!" Kitsune's mother looked at her, alarmed. "What are you talking about? Of course I love you!"

"You just said you wanted to throw me out! Like the flies in your tea!" Kitsune's mother sighed dramatically and put a hand over Kitsune's.

"I was just using a metaphor for you not going to therapy. If you don't go, then you'll mope around, making me unhappy. But if you do go, there won't be a fly in my tea. Understand?" Kitsune's mother spoke with a soft smile, understanding what Kitsune was feeling. Her husband had gone through the same thing.

Kitsune nodded, appreciatively. She sort of understood. No one could completely understand her mother's logic but it helped that her mother was trying.

The van soon stopped in front of the Hinata Inn. Everyone clambered out and made their way up the stairs. There were a lot of pauses because both Kitsune and Seiji were out of shape and still very weak.

Once the top of the stairs was reached, Kitsune found that the rest of her family had shipped down here. There was to be a big party for the return of the two Konno's. During the party, however, Kitsune saw her mother on the phone, holding a piece of paper. Obviously, she was speaking to a therapist for Kitsune. Kitsune was later informed that she had five sessions of therapy to attend.

.~.

"Okay.  It's good that you're so aware of your feelings. Do you know why you feel so depressed?"

"Yes. Everyone pities me. I don't want pity. I want to be happy. I want them to treat me normally, but they don't."

"This is all their fault?"

"…"

"Ms. Konno, I think you're hiding something from me."

"I-…I feel…as if…well…I feel as if it's all my fault."

"The surgery and everything else? Your fault?"

"No. The cirrhosis."

"Well. It is your fault. In a way. But you don't have to focus on the negative aspect of it. It did bring your family closer, didn't it?"

"Yes…it did."

"So there you have it. Anything else?"

"My brother…"

"What about him?"

"He gave me his liver…part of it…but he pretends like nothing happened."

"Don't you want it to be like that?"

"I guess…"

"…"

"Yes, I do."

"Okay then, there's no real problem. There is a small one but it can be fixed. Do you know what the problem is and how to fix it?"

Kitsune smiled. "Yes, I know the problem and how to fix it. I'm depressed because I feel this is my fault. But it isn't. However it is in that I made the choice to go against the doctor's orders. I can fix the problem by…by…um…"

"The steps, Ms. Konno."

"Oh, right! I can use the steps of positive thinking to help me…right?"

There was a laugh from the therapist as he stood up. Kitsune followed his lead and shook hands with him.

"Thank you sir."

"No problem Ms. Konno. You'll do fine in the outside world now. I take it that you're no longer depressed after our five sessions?"

Kitsune adapted a mischievous look. "No." The therapist let out another full laugh as he escorted her out of the building.

"I hope never to see you here again, Ms. Konno."

"Same here. Bye! And thank you!"

.~.

Kitsune laughed fully as she sipped her soda. She'd grown used to her new lifestyle, no longer depressed but happy. She took each day head on. For that, all her friends and family were happy. With her there, life was much more full of life and fond memories. It was those memories that everyone loved. The memories they shared with Kitsune.

Why? Because if Kitsune had died…

No one could forget the fox.

.~.

The end!! Yay!!

Reviews answered/replied to in previous chapter.


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